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[ms] · Est. May 2002

Music madethis place,we just kept itgoing...

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Forums / General Yakkity Yak

A drunken man walks into a biker bar.....

698 durable postsStarted 2007-01-09Latest 2022-03-11
#1658464Post 681 of 698

Re: A drunken man walks into a biker bar.....

A Doctor was addressing a large audience in Tampa. “The material we put into our stomachs is enough to have killed most of us sitting here, years ago. Red meat is awful. Soft drinks corrode your stomach lining. Chinese food is loaded with MSG. High fat diets can be disastrous, and none of us realizes the long-term harm caused by the germs in our drinking water. “However, there is one thing that is the most dangerous of all and we all have eaten, or will eat it. Can anyone here tell me what food it is that causes the most grief and suffering for years after eating it?” After several seconds of quiet, a 75-year-old man in the front row raised his hand, and softly said, “Wedding Cake?”

#1658770Post 682 of 698

Re: A drunken man walks into a biker bar.....

nabbed from TMB:

The State of Washington made both gay marriage and pot smoking legal as of 12:01 a.m. December 6th, 2012.

It's the fulfillment of the Biblical prophesy: Leviticus 20:13. "If a man lies with a man as he would with a woman, they should both be stoned."

#1665024Post 683 of 698

Re: A drunken man walks into a biker bar.....

[COLOR=#FFFFE0][FONT=verdana][SIZE=2]I [/SIZE][/FONT][/COLOR] [FONT=verdana][SIZE=2] h[B]ad lunch with two of my unmarried friends. One is engaged, one is amistress, and I have been married for 20+ years. We were chatting about ourrelationships and decided to amaze our men by greeting them at the doorwearing a black bra, stiletto heels and a mask over our eyes. We agreed tomeet in a few days to exchange notes.Here's how it went. My engaged friend: The other night when my boyfriend came over he found mewith a black leather bodice, tall stilettos and a mask. He saw me and said,"You are the woman of my dreams. I love you". Then we made passionate loveall night long. The mistress: Me too! The other night I met my lover at his office and Iwas wearing a raincoat, under it only the black bra, heels and mask over myeyes. When I opened the raincoat he didn't say a word, but he started totremble and we had wild sex all night.

Then I had to share my story: When my husband came home I was wearing theblack bra, black stockings, stilettos, and a mask over my eyes. When hecame in the door and saw me he said, "What's for dinner, Zorro?"[/B][/SIZE][/FONT]

[COLOR=#FFFFE0][FONT=verdana][SIZE=2] [/SIZE][/FONT][/COLOR] [COLOR=#FFFFE0][FONT=verdana][SIZE=2][/SIZE][/FONT][/COLOR]

#1665026Post 684 of 698

Re: A drunken man walks into a biker bar.....

[FONT=Verdana][COLOR=#6365ce]Mick[/COLOR][/FONT][COLOR=#FFFFE0][FONT=Verdana] and Paddy are reading head stones at a nearby cemetery.

Mick says "Crikey! There's a bloke here who was 152!"

Paddy says "What's his name?"

Mick replies "Miles, from London![/FONT][/COLOR][FONT=Verdana][COLOR=#6365ce][/COLOR][/FONT]

#1665809Post 685 of 698

Re: A drunken man walks into a biker bar.....

[FONT=Verdana][COLOR=#6365ce]I was [/COLOR][/FONT][COLOR=#F0FFF0][FONT=Verdana]waiting to get served at the bar when I felt a hand gently squeezingmy groin.

"Buy me a drink and I'll suck your cock," a seductive voice whispered in myear.

I sighed, "You've spent all your money on prositutes again, haven't youColin[/FONT][/COLOR][FONT=Verdana][COLOR=#6365ce][/COLOR][/FONT]

#1667576Post 686 of 698

Re: A drunken man walks into a biker bar.....

A man boarded an aircraft at London 's Heathrow Airport for New York , and taking his seat as he settled in, he noticed a very beautiful woman boarding the plane. He realized she was heading straight toward his seat and bingo - she took the seat right beside him.

"Hello", he blurted out, "Business trip or vacation?"

... She turned, smiled enchantingly and said, "Business. I'm going to the annual Nymphomaniac convention in the United States ."

He swallowed hard. Here was the most gorgeous woman he had ever seen sitting next to him, and she was going to a meeting for nymphomaniacs!

Struggling to maintain his composure, he calmly asked, "What's your business role at this convention?"

"Lecturer," she responded,” I use my experience to disprove some of the popular myths about sexuality.."

"Really", he smiled, "what myths are those?"

"Well," she explained, "one popular myth is that African-America­n men are the most well-endowed when, in fact, it's the Native American Indian who is most likely to possess that trait.

Another popular myth is that French men are the best lovers, when actually it is the men of Greek descent.

We have also found that the best potential lovers in all categories are the Irish."

Suddenly the woman became uncomfortable and blushed. "I'm sorry," she said. "I really shouldn't be discussing this with you, I don't even know your name!"

"Tonto," the man said. "Tonto Papadopoulos, but my friends call me Paddy."

#1774226Post 687 of 698

Re: A drunken man walks into a biker bar.....

Not a single joke in 4 years guys, ffs that's disgraceful

#1774232Post 688 of 698

Re: A drunken man walks into a biker bar.....

^^ I don't miss yours at all :lol: Happy birthday :)

#1774238Post 689 of 698

Re: A drunken man walks into a biker bar.....

Strange, this place seems to be full of comedians

#1774268Post 690 of 698

Re: A drunken man walks into a biker bar.....

[QUOTE=REDROCK;1200583]Strange, this place seems to be full of comedians[/QUOTE]

Not comedians, but people in the entertainment industry.

#1774275Post 691 of 698

Re: A drunken man walks into a biker bar.....

^ If comedy is tragedy plus time then there are plenty of them on here. Not sure what your definition of the entertainment industry encovers but I'm not sure DJ set curator/archivist counts for the vast majority of highly trained Entertainment Industry Professionals.

#1774285Post 692 of 698

Re: A drunken man walks into a biker bar.....

A man of many talents. LOL

#1774324Post 693 of 698

Re: A drunken man walks into a biker bar.....

Do you think Tiger Woods should have taken a driver?

#1774325Post 694 of 698

Re: A drunken man walks into a biker bar.....

Did you hear about the gay magician?

He disappeared in a poof!

#1774326Post 695 of 698

Re: A drunken man walks into a biker bar.....

Whats the difference between a pimple and a Catholic priest?

A Catholic priest doesn't need you to be 12 to come on your face.

#1774348Post 696 of 698

Re: A drunken man walks into a biker bar.....

[QUOTE=nick007;1200766]Do you think Tiger Woods should have taken a driver?[/QUOTE]

Fine one :lol:

#1779724Post 697 of 698

Re: A drunken man walks into a biker bar.....

What is a the pirate's favorite letter?

R you say?

You would think that, but he is more of a C man.

#1811827Post 698 of 698

Re: A drunken man walks into a biker bar.....

Hello there.... Distinct lack of jokes at everywhere by the looks of things...!!!

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