Re: taking some time out

[QUOTE=GarryX;1190542]Thats just life mate, life in Scotland probably hasn't changed much in the last 50 years other than more drugs on the streets.

Nothing that im proud of, but I've taken an obscene amount over the years and as yet, not any worse for it other than missing a few braincells.

Sounds like youre one of the unlucky ones.

Hope you get better soon![/QUOTE]

the place is depressing m8, diet is poor and every where you go to for entertainment is all alcoholic beverages, same dj's playing the same music over and over, i never go out in this place at all, the only bars in this town depress the shit out of me, still playing 70's pop hits and other music i hate, when i used to go into the town for a night out it was costing me just about half of my weeks wages just for one night out, in fact probably more than half, the taxi home was a killer and that was the only way to get home at that time of night and even those guys were putting on the same people all the time, i,ll be honest here, if it wasn't for drugs i think that would of died a long time ago but it's the same thing with alcohol, how many people do you see sitting in a bar drinking cola's in a group of friends who are drinking beer, drugs are pretty cheap and make you feel good and last longer than the effects of alcohol, walking into the arches and the first thing that happens is a guy comes up to you and asks you if you want any drugs, if you ask him how much usually it's something like 5 e's for a tenner ( dodgy pills and dangerous yes ) but if you think about it you're never going to enjoy your night in the same way spending the same amount of money on alcohol, drinks in clubs are expensive and everybody needs to save money for living so people try and spend as little as they can while enjoying themselves,£20 on the door, £40 on drinks and £40 on the taxi home and that was years ago, god knows what it's like now or £20 on the door £10 for 5 dodgy drugs and £40 on the taxi home, 30 quid is 30 quid m8

Re: taking some time out

it's the same on the streets, a bottle of wine and a couple of cans ( cigs as well ) or cheap ( poor quality and dangerous ) drugs that keep you going all night ( you don't smoke as much on drugs ), it's damaging to health but it feels so good and like i,ve said previously people are not taught about what it does to their body so they don't really consider the consequences in later life, drugs are getting pretty dangerous, it's why legal highs were banned, i swear i fell for this one big time, drugs were so dirty on the street that people were taking shit loads of those thinking they were getting safer drugs, the most potent drug i,ve ever had in my life was legal and i ended up in hospital after going on a binge on that once, stuff was scary, it took the doctor all day to figure out what was in my blood and they took my blood twice, it's a hard cycle to break drugs, once you have experienced the feel good factor of them it's hard to break away, i still miss a smoke to this day and i,ve only smoked it a few time in about a decade now, even though i went through the mental health system that should of stopped me taking drugs for good but the stuff they were treating me for the problem made me feel so bad that i just wanted to get high again as much as i could to forget, honestly a mental ward breaks you hard, it's a trap, you either react a certain way or another way and the doctors are looking out for the signs of each reaction and read your body language, they either drive you to breaking point and you snap ( then they sedate you ) or they look for the signs that you're hiding something, it's hard to explain but you notice everything right away and you're scared to react either way in case they think you're going mad, there is no way out of it, you're cracked either way, if everyone that goes through it reacts to it in the same way i did then it more or less makes you become a hermit because you see the techniques they use in every day life in public all the time and every time you see something it just reminds you of it, i still remember every single thing from my first experience and that was 13 years ago, it feels like it was yesterday, the second time i just took my ipod and tried to block it out as much as i could, i knew what was coming, 8 weeks at a time in a mental ward and then a good £500 at the end of it curtacy of the tax payer for being in hospital, that is just crazy money not to even mention how much money they spent on treating me with anti psychotics pills, the depot, an injection they give you every 2 weeks instead of giving you pills is so degrading, drop you're trousers i want to stick this big needle into your arse and god it's big, hurts like fuck, god that is nasty, that system is just fucked

Re: taking some time out

as having a close family member diagnosed with schizophrenic bi-polar disorder, i hope you listen to the doctors who understand your sickness and are only acting in your best interest for a normal healthy life for you.

I will say what you had described is almost exactly what was told to me by this person so if it helps any at all, you are not the only person with these thoughts. This is is why it is so quick to be diagnosed because these doctors hear the same story over and over.

also remember, many people have gone through this and have been able to live healthy lifestyles with the proper treatment, so it's not impossible to fix things.

best of luck to you and i hope you find the peace you are looking for.

Re: taking some time out

i swear i,ve just realized i,m eating myself into an early grave, no omega 3 or 6 for years which means i can't absorb fat soluble vitamins, toes and fingers all affected by this, all the fruit i stopped eat long ago was because it was all soggy, old and rotten with no vitamin content ( cheap and nasty and from all around the world ), drinking heavily for years which was fucking up my digestive system, kebabs, chip shop food and mcdonalds/kfc ( all stuff i couldn't chew properly or digest ), my nails are all ridges and lines ( b3 deficiency i think, you're supposed to get that from bread but flour bleaching probably kills the shit out of that ), dodgy yogurts with sugary sides to go along with it and other nasty cheap dairy produce probably full of all sorts of shit, fried food ( lards and other oils ), drinking too much tap water which probably means i,m taking in too much fluoride, sugary drinks, sweetened drinks, microwave foods that are full of carcinogenic from the plastic they are cooked in the microwave heated up so much that all the nutrients are killed off and meat so hard and chewy that you're never going to digest it... this is all leading to cancer, obesity, diabetes and all sorts of diseases that is killing millions right across the country because it all they can afford to feed themselves with, the cost of living in scotland is even lower than places down south and scotland is suffering hard so god knows what is happening down south, during the brexit debate people were complaining they couldn't get into a hospital or dentist for weeks and they were blaming it on migrants clogging up the system but if you could look at hospital records ( and you can't ) then you would probably see that there is more people from britain going through the system than anyone else because the cost of living is fucking up the country badly and causing all sort of health problems that need sustained expensive treatments and then if those people can't get into work because they are suffering from health problems then they are costing the government/tax payer huge bills in benefits, it's crazy, i was making £20 less a week on benefits than i was making in a full week in work at one point and i was sitting on my arse all day doing nothing, depressed and making myself even more sick that i supposedly was in the first place, the money i,ve cost the system throughout this would frighten you and if this is anything to go by then the future is not very bright for this country at all... people always talk about things like the shortage of affordable housing but if you look at what health is costing the system then you will see why they can't afford to build things like this and that has a knock on affect on people's health as well because they are paying landlords huge sums in rent for houses to live in ( look at house prices in london as an example ) overworking themselves to pay of mortgages and killing themselves in the process because they can't afford decent nutritional food at the same time

some of the houses i have worked in doing jobs were quite expensive housing for this area and the build quality was just shocking, joinery so shocking you would of been lucky it lasted a few years never mind a lifetime, people were paying a fortune in mortgages for these homes only to get into more debt to move to another place because the one they just bought was falling to bits already, the new hospital in this town was built less than 10-15 years ago and when i was in it the place was already falling to bits, windows all broken, sockets coming off the walls,i remember being in the first time and the ward was seriously hot due to the heating on but every time i,ve been in since then it was freezing probably because they couldn't afford to heat the place any more because the repair bill was costing so much, they couldn't even afford to give us more than one blanket which was making it impossible for everyone to sleep and they were having to hand out sleeping pills to every one, this all costs the tax payer so much fucking money, it's getting out of hand and everyone is looking at blaming the easy scapegoats ( i.e. immigration,they were an easy target )... if anything it's business that is killing the country more than anything else because it has become so profit based, every one is trying to make a quick buck as quickly as they can and it's killing people left right and center

Re: taking some time out

[QUOTE=jay813;1190559]as having a close family member diagnosed with schizophrenic bi-polar disorder, i hope you listen to the doctors who understand your sickness and are only acting in your best interest for a normal healthy life for you. [/quote]

it's more common than ever now, so is depression and other illnesses, it's easy to blame it on substance abuse all too easily but i,ve seen people who have never touched drugs in their lives go through the system and end up in a cycle of substance abuse due to this, a lot of it can be sorted well with diet but there are other dangers in that as well because you never know just what is in the food you're eating and no one is sure 100% how certain chemicals react with other chemicals, it's probably why cancer is growing at an alarming rate, just look at the shit that is in cigarette's as an example, plastics ? wtf, who in their right mind would want to smoke plastic but once you go down that road it's so addictive and it's hard to stop, most people don't even know half the chemicals that are in things like this and don't even think about what it is doing to their body, when the toxins enter the blood stream and then are mixed with other toxins from god knows where else who knows what that is doing to the body, were surrounded by so much chemicals these days and exposed to so much it's just getting more dangerous

[quote]I will say what you had described is almost exactly what was told to me by this person so if it helps any at all, you are not the only person with these thoughts. This is is why it is so quick to be diagnosed because these doctors hear the same story over and over.[/quote]

i was diagnosed years ago, i,m seeing my doctor soon

[quote]also remember, many people have gone through this and have been able to live healthy lifestyles with the proper treatment, so it's not impossible to fix things.

best of luck to you and i hope you find the peace you are looking for.[/QUOTE]

not impossible to fix things ? you're madder than me lol... you have no idea what you're talking about, people who have never been through it will never understand it.. the drugs are useless and cause all sort of other problems and they don't even fix half the problems at all, they just numb you to a point where you don't care any more, it completely ruins lives more than it helps lives, i first took my first anti psychotic drug in the 90's ( one course of treatment, didn't even go back for more ) and the side effects were still the same some 10-15 years later, patients would of been reporting the same side effects to their doctors for years and no one bother to change the formula or anything, sometimes i think it's deliberate, i saw someone i was in a ward with at one point the other day, guy was only a young guy and he's basically killing himself hard ( smoking cigarette's right to the filter etc ), he didn't even remember me, i had to remind him who i was, the poor guy just looked so fucked up, he couldn't even get a sentence out or nothing

Re: taking some time out

the more i say the more i,m going to make myself look completely paranoid but there is science in everything we do now, in everything we eat, touch and drink etc, it would be easy to create business by studying the chemicals that are in the food we eat and drink and creating another chemical which reacts with those chemicals to do harm to our bodies, these people know exactly what they are doing, they are in our food, our drink our drugs etc etc, it's an easy target and no one knows just what is in the food we eat or what we put into our body, no one really thinks about it, you buy a piece of fruit or veg from the shop and eat it without even thinking about the chemicals that were used to help it grow or the chemical used to keep predators from harming it, we put this stuff into our body all the time without thinking about it, if you think about what everyone recommends as a balanced diet then it would be easy for science to target those products to create more business for science in the future, bleaching flour for example ? wtf is that all about ? it's probably killing all the good nutrients in it right away, sweeteners in foods that are linked to heart palpitations, chemicals in beers that are linked to cancers to name a few things, these are all harming our body when we put them into it and no one really knows who is behind creating the treatments for fixing these problems and who they are connected to, for all you know companies could be setting up companies in other fields such as food ( and pesticides ) and medicines to create as much money as they can from each other on the fly without anyone even considering it, if you know what you're doing then it's easy to make disease/illness look like a natural occurrence, business is getting fly, the techniques are getting more advanced and people are getting greedy for power

take street drugs for example ( especially in this country ), the drugs are so filthy and cut with everything that you never really knows what is in them, it could be anything, what are they cut with and what is it doing to our body, it would be so easy for business to target that and put harmful chemicals in them that need treatments to fix the health problems, even testing kits could be tampered with to hide the harmful stuff that is in them, who has ever tested a testing kit ? look at how cannabis has changed in the last 30 years as an example, you need to know what you are doing to be able to change it in that way, no street dealer is behind that... crack ? who thought about that one ? how cocaine is made, who the hell thought about mixing all those chemicals together to extract the stuff from the plant, look it up on youtube, its scary, there is something serious behind that one, meth ? created by some basement dwelling scientist that got his knowledge from searching google for a webpage ? i don't think so, these people are creating stuff in advance knowing they have treatments to fix the problems caused by ingesting these substances, they are probably making a fortune from it and it's an easy target because it illegal, look at how ecstasy has change over the years, in the old days one pill would of lasted you all night and when the supply of safrole oil was halted they just either started to cut the shit out of what they had left or just synthesized another way of making it through another chemical process ( i don't know a lot about it ), sitting watching gurners ( it's not even gurning now, it's more like twitches ) on a page on facebook recently made me see just how dangerous it is becoming, pills are getting so strong these days and creating so much damage to the brain, again there is science behind that, some of the hash you used to get in this country was filthy, a quarter ounce used to cost £35 and it was not the best quality but it got worse over the years, i remember ( long time ago now ) the stuff was so bad and dirty that people were paying £35 ( or even £25 ) for a whole ounce, goes all black when you burn it and stuff, that could of been ISIS or anything ( if they existed back then ), that's all years and years of oxygen on the health service and today's weed is even more deadly, thc content is driving people insane at an alarming rate, that's all anti psychotic treatments and hospital ward visits and even that doesn't stop people from smoking it, that just drives you to take more drugs

Re: taking some time out

Hi Dom,

I've just sent you a PM

Come back to me asap

Re: taking some time out

sent you a reply in two parts again

Re: taking some time out

i,m fucking sick of this place, it's completely fucked, simple essentials needed for everyday life are getting out of the reach of everyone, simple things like toilet roll for example, the stuff every one can afford is so bad that you have to use half a roll just to wipe you're arse right once, that's all going into the sewage system and costing the system huge sums of money to process which is costing scottish water a huge amount of their budget and that is why tap water has become so shit, smells like bleach and tastes horrible because they can no longer afford to pay for the right stuff to make it pure, then you have to go buy bottled water which is so expensive and so dirty and not even filtered or anything, e coli or anything could be in that stuff, they don't even check it, most of that shit is just tap water anyway put into plastic bottles that is fucking up the planet more than anything, the water is messing with people's hair and skin and causing them to become conscious of their looks which is probably why they are sitting in front of their tv's or computers all day and not going out as much as they can and driving people to depression and all sorts of other health problems, this could be one of the reasons why all the shops in the main street are closing down, well one of the reasons and why things like internet shopping and supermarkets are becoming so big because everyone is either going to a one stop shop for everything or sitting on their arse and getting everything delivered right to their door just look at how many people have started to use home deliveries from supermarkets, it's keeping the royal mail going, i was in the sorting office for one day in my town and i swear everything i touched ,all the boxes and parcels were from amazon, that told me a lot, probably more than it should of, things like cd's were 2 and 3 quid cheaper ( including delivery ) than it would of cost for people to go out on the main street and buy it themselves, for me to buy the music i like it would of cost me a good £10 in train fair plus the cost of a cd for some music i could even listen too before i bought it, it has hit record shops hard,take virgin for example, when i was at uni i had to travel into glasgow and i was buying music from there all the time simply because it was the only place ( glasgow ) where the shops were and i was already in the city anyway, people couldn't really afford to travel into the city every time to buy things like music or dvd's and this was the only place where those shops were based because they were spending so much money on trying to live as good as they can and when the computer and internet came along piracy just got huge because everyone loves to feel good and everyone loves something for free, it's not because people couldn't afford to buy the media it was because the only places they could get it from was costing too much to get too, once you get into the habit of getting things for free then why would you bother to start paying for it again ? i,ve sat on forums like this for over a decade and downloaded so much stuff over the years, far too much stuff to go through in my life and it has damaged the scene more than anything because although there is some good music in those sets some dj's don't even bother giving you a tracklist for you the people to go out and buy the music they are hearing, the dj scene is fucking itself over big time, dj's are getting music years in advance and playing it to people and by the time the people find out the name of the song they like it all old and no one buys it, by that time people have already downloaded more music for free and have moved onto something that sounds different, there is so much choice out there and it is getting better and better all the time but the people at the top are not helping the artists by feeding people who are willing to buy the music the names of the song or artists and that is driving a lot of talent in music to move onto something else because they are not making any money from it, the scene could last a life time but it's killing itself for the reasonsi,ve just mentioned

Re: taking some time out

Can you come back to me asap Dom

Re: taking some time out

replied

Re: taking some time out

Ohh man, Sorry to hear all that. I cant say too much about it, just, I hope you win, stay strong and watch your steps. all the best for you buddy.

Re: taking some time out

[QUOTE=thebanned1;1190549]i,m fine m8 honestly, just sitting trying to read a couple of books on diet and stuff, finding it hard, never been able to read properly in my life so i have to keep going over and over paragraphs and sentences, can't even spell properly, if it wasn't for spell checking on my browser i would of looked a right idiot every where, i think that is part of the problem with my reading, i,ve always hated the english subject since school, bores me to death, i got through a bachelor in science without ever reading a book and got through a subject in english in college when i just about every word in my essays was misspelled can't even remember if i used word or hand wrote them now if i,m honest but if i used word i was using spell checker for just about every second word, kind of scary if you think about it[/QUOTE] Hey maybe I can do something useful. If you want to tell me which books etc. I can summarise for you :)

Re: taking some time out

[QUOTE=thebanned1;1190599]i,m fucking sick of this place, it's completely fucked, simple essentials needed for everyday life are getting out of the reach of everyone, simple things like toilet roll for example, the stuff every one can afford is so bad that you have to use half a roll just to wipe you're arse right once, that's all going into the sewage system and costing the system huge sums of money to process which is costing scottish water a huge amount of their budget and that is why tap water has become so shit, smells like bleach and tastes horrible because they can no longer afford to pay for the right stuff to make it pure, then you have to go buy bottled water which is so expensive and so dirty and not even filtered or anything, e coli or anything could be in that stuff, they don't even check it, most of that shit is just tap water anyway put into plastic bottles that is fucking up the planet more than anything, the water is messing with people's hair and skin and causing them to become conscious of their looks which is probably why they are sitting in front of their tv's or computers all day and not going out as much as they can and driving people to depression and all sorts of other health problems, this could be one of the reasons why all the shops in the main street are closing down, well one of the reasons and why things like internet shopping and supermarkets are becoming so big because everyone is either going to a one stop shop for everything or sitting on their arse and getting everything delivered right to their door just look at how many people have started to use home deliveries from supermarkets, it's keeping the royal mail going, i was in the sorting office for one day in my town and i swear everything i touched ,all the boxes and parcels were from amazon, that told me a lot, probably more than it should of, things like cd's were 2 and 3 quid cheaper ( including delivery ) than it would of cost for people to go out on the main street and buy it themselves, for me to buy the music i like it would of cost me a good £10 in train fair plus the cost of a cd for some music i could even listen too before i bought it, it has hit record shops hard,take virgin for example, when i was at uni i had to travel into glasgow and i was buying music from there all the time simply because it was the only place ( glasgow ) where the shops were and i was already in the city anyway, people couldn't really afford to travel into the city every time to buy things like music or dvd's and this was the only place where those shops were based because they were spending so much money on trying to live as good as they can and when the computer and internet came along piracy just got huge because everyone loves to feel good and everyone loves something for free, it's not because people couldn't afford to buy the media it was because the only places they could get it from was costing too much to get too, once you get into the habit of getting things for free then why would you bother to start paying for it again ? i,ve sat on forums like this for over a decade and downloaded so much stuff over the years, far too much stuff to go through in my life and it has damaged the scene more than anything because although there is some good music in those sets some dj's don't even bother giving you a tracklist for you the people to go out and buy the music they are hearing, the dj scene is fucking itself over big time, dj's are getting music years in advance and playing it to people and by the time the people find out the name of the song they like it all old and no one buys it, by that time people have already downloaded more music for free and have moved onto something that sounds different, there is so much choice out there and it is getting better and better all the time but the people at the top are not helping the artists by feeding people who are willing to buy the music the names of the song or artists and that is driving a lot of talent in music to move onto something else because they are not making any money from it, the scene could last a life time but it's killing itself for the reasonsi,ve just mentioned[/QUOTE] Technology has made it so much easier to be greedy. :(

Re: taking some time out

:shock: so true

Re: taking some time out

[QUOTE=DIDI;1190642]Technology has made it so much easier to be greedy. :([/QUOTE]

jdownloader made it easy, 200 or so sets from the same dj in one sitting, people are hoarding too much stuff and buying nothing, it's easy to make someone sit on their arse all day and keep them entertained for a long time,free films and music all day long and sitting on the internet all day, it's killing people hard, it's probably affecting people in colder climates more because they don't want to go out in bad weather and when you get used to it it's a hard cycle to break, the computer has everything you need to keep you entertained for a long time, it's a death trap, i,ve spent the last 20 years or so doing nothing but sit at a computer simply because it kept me happy for a long time, fed me music, gave me people to talk to, helped me be creative ( not any more though ) and everything i needed was in one place, it was as easy as getting up in the morning and switching it on, instant entertainment, even office jobs are fucking up people, they are sitting at a computer all day working using computer programs all day

so many people do it, they are an easy target as well, look at how much wrong information is out there on the internet and how many people turn to webpages for their main source of information, it's easy for people to writer pages on things like diet and health style that are wrong and cause all sorts of health problems in the future, people know exactly how to target people like this, if you think about it all the info i,ve put out on the internet over the years is frightening, telling people i,ve been smoking, telling people i,ve been doing drugs, it would be so easy to kill or hurt someone like me and make it look like a natural occurrence, it's easy for them to blame it on an unhealthy lifestyle and blame health problems from things like lack of exercise, you can't really trust anything on the internet and even .gov pages etc are a bit too complicated to understand so people go for information that is easy to read and understand, it's probably killed so many because everyone believes all the stuff they read and people are writing other pages based that info themselves without being able to confirm if that info is correct or not, in all the time i,ve spent on the internet i,ve never really found one web page i could honestly say i could trust fully, it's just so easy to trick people into believing that everything you read on here is right, people were going through degree's ripping info from the net, no one can verify or not what they are reading is true or not, it's just screwing up everything... look at how popular conspiracy theories are becoming, it's like half the world population is starting to believe all that stuff, it's making the whole world a paranoid place to live, it's one thing that is driving the world to destruction, the internet is just a deadly place, nothing is safe, you can't trust no one, look at how long i,ve known all of you guys and i,ve never even seen any of you're faces except in picture on facebook and there is not even any way of confirming that is actually the person behind the keyboard, you guys could be pedophiles or anything ( please don't take offence to that i,m just using it as an example ), look what happened to this place, it was hacked, the code is still fucked, for all you know the hacker could of grabbed all you're IP's and set you up for all sorts without you even realizing it was done, some of us could of been sent to prison an innocent person or anything, you used to be able to switch your router off and switch you're IP address in about 20 seconds but now you have the same address for years at a time, anyone could be doing anything to your computer and you would never know especially if you're downloading all the time, that's getting dangerous as hell

people are basing setting up business and stuff based on info they are finding on the net and everything, that info could be anything and doing more harm than good, in scotland there has been a sharp rise in people becoming fitness instructors etc, i know a guy who is one and he's just setting up a gym that uses ropes and stuff, one person falls from a rope and breaks their back and it's years of medical treatments, a m8 of mine does body building, he uses all sort of protein shakes and other stuff, all he's doing is just making himself fat and over working his body in the gym causing problems with his joints and other things like cartridge and causing other sorts of problems associated with his weight, i,m not saying these guys got that sort of info from the internet but really where else would you find out things like that ? from a book in the library ?

the internet is just getting deadly

Re: taking some time out

micko i tried to send a reply to you're pm but it says you've exceeded your limit so it wouldn't send, thanks for taking the time out to talk to me, it helped a bit, made me think about a few things

Re: taking some time out

I have deleted my pms - can you try again

Re: taking some time out

[QUOTE=thebanned1;1190563]

not impossible to fix things ? you're madder than me lol... you have no idea what you're talking about, people who have never been through it will never understand it.. the drugs are useless and cause all sort of other problems and they don't even fix half the problems at all, they just numb you to a point where you don't care any more, it completely ruins lives more than it helps lives, i first took my first anti psychotic drug in the 90's ( one course of treatment, didn't even go back for more ) and the side effects were still the same some 10-15 years later, patients would of been reporting the same side effects to their doctors for years and no one bother to change the formula or anything, sometimes i think it's deliberate, i saw someone i was in a ward with at one point the other day, guy was only a young guy and he's basically killing himself hard ( smoking cigarette's right to the filter etc ), he didn't even remember me, i had to remind him who i was, the poor guy just looked so fucked up, he couldn't even get a sentence out or nothing[/QUOTE]

I don't disagree with you there, we are far away from being able to prescribe any kind of "fix". Doctors just give you pills and hope for the best. I really do wish you the best. I wish mental health wasnt a such a taboo topic and talked about more. Mental health facilities here are usually the first to see cuts in funding and its unfortunate.

Re: taking some time out

[QUOTE=jay813;1190678]I don't disagree with you there, we are far away from being able to prescribe any kind of "fix". Doctors just give you pills and hope for the best. I really do wish you the best. I wish mental health wasnt a such a taboo topic and talked about more. Mental health facilities here are usually the first to see cuts in funding and its unfortunate.[/QUOTE]

the pills don't work, there is just so much they don't deal with, it's like watching you life pass by you and there is nothing you can do about it, the side effects just ruin your body and that is just as painful if not more painful as living with mental health, that on top of that just plays on your mind so heavily, it's like a never ending cycle of mental health problems, when i say problems i don't mean things as sever as schizophrenia i mean things like depression and loneliness to name a few, people are either going to their doctors and asking for anti depressants or they are getting high all the time to help them forget, either way it's costing the health service a huge amount of cash to deal with, psychiatric drugs are expensive and people need lengthy treatments but if you then add on the cost of treating a patient for substance abuse then you can see just how much it's costing the nhs not to mention just how much these people are paid in sickness benefits, it's costing the country a fortune and the bill is rising all the time, god knows what it cost to put me in hospital for 8 weeks at a time, 3 times...it's hard to explain the experience but it breaks you hard, you're never quite the same after that, just about everyone i,ve known to go through that system ( that i keep in touch with ) is killing themselves in some way or another, the system is just all wrong, it's like the people that created it knew exactly what they were doing in the first place, i still say it deliberate as paranoid as that sounds, honestly they are just driving people to suicide or a long slow painful costly slow death and a lot of people are profiting from that big time

Re: taking some time out

[QUOTE=thebanned1;1190671]jdownloader made it easy, 200 or so sets from the same dj in one sitting, people are hoarding too much stuff and buying nothing, it's easy to make someone sit on their arse all day and keep them entertained for a long time,free films and music all day long and sitting on the internet all day, it's killing people hard, it's probably affecting people in colder climates more because they don't want to go out in bad weather and when you get used to it it's a hard cycle to break, the computer has everything you need to keep you entertained for a long time, it's a death trap, i,ve spent the last 20 years or so doing nothing but sit at a computer simply because it kept me happy for a long time, fed me music, gave me people to talk to, helped me be creative ( not any more though ) and everything i needed was in one place, it was as easy as getting up in the morning and switching it on, instant entertainment, even office jobs are fucking up people, they are sitting at a computer all day working using computer programs all day

so many people do it, they are an easy target as well, look at how much wrong information is out there on the internet and how many people turn to webpages for their main source of information, it's easy for people to writer pages on things like diet and health style that are wrong and cause all sorts of health problems in the future, people know exactly how to target people like this, if you think about it all the info i,ve put out on the internet over the years is frightening, telling people i,ve been smoking, telling people i,ve been doing drugs, it would be so easy to kill or hurt someone like me and make it look like a natural occurrence, it's easy for them to blame it on an unhealthy lifestyle and blame health problems from things like lack of exercise, you can't really trust anything on the internet and even .gov pages etc are a bit too complicated to understand so people go for information that is easy to read and understand, it's probably killed so many because everyone believes all the stuff they read and people are writing other pages based that info themselves without being able to confirm if that info is correct or not, in all the time i,ve spent on the internet i,ve never really found one web page i could honestly say i could trust fully, it's just so easy to trick people into believing that everything you read on here is right, people were going through degree's ripping info from the net, no one can verify or not what they are reading is true or not, it's just screwing up everything... look at how popular conspiracy theories are becoming, it's like half the world population is starting to believe all that stuff, it's making the whole world a paranoid place to live, it's one thing that is driving the world to destruction, the internet is just a deadly place, nothing is safe, you can't trust no one, look at how long i,ve known all of you guys and i,ve never even seen any of you're faces except in picture on facebook and there is not even any way of confirming that is actually the person behind the keyboard, you guys could be pedophiles or anything ( please don't take offence to that i,m just using it as an example ), look what happened to this place, it was hacked, the code is still fucked, for all you know the hacker could of grabbed all you're IP's and set you up for all sorts without you even realizing it was done, some of us could of been sent to prison an innocent person or anything, you used to be able to switch your router off and switch you're IP address in about 20 seconds but now you have the same address for years at a time, anyone could be doing anything to your computer and you would never know especially if you're downloading all the time, that's getting dangerous as hell

people are basing setting up business and stuff based on info they are finding on the net and everything, that info could be anything and doing more harm than good, in scotland there has been a sharp rise in people becoming fitness instructors etc, i know a guy who is one and he's just setting up a gym that uses ropes and stuff, one person falls from a rope and breaks their back and it's years of medical treatments, a m8 of mine does body building, he uses all sort of protein shakes and other stuff, all he's doing is just making himself fat and over working his body in the gym causing problems with his joints and other things like cartridge and causing other sorts of problems associated with his weight, i,m not saying these guys got that sort of info from the internet but really where else would you find out things like that ? from a book in the library ?

the internet is just getting deadly[/QUOTE] brother are you ever preaching to the converted here!! So much of what you say here rings true. I do love the internet but It can be such an isolating place . You do have to so careful. .!!

Re: taking some time out

i was reading up on the side effects of the medication i was on last night and i read that alcohol can increase the side effects of the drug, i,m not sure now if i was told this or not when i was first put on it ( i probably was but i can't remember that far back ), if i was i was telling my doctor i was drinking all and they never thought to tell me about this, my cpn even saw me in the super market buying 3 packs of ten beers and they never even thought of reminding me about this, i,ve probably hurt myself more due to this and not even realized i did it, if i hadn't had the internet ( like a lot of other patients who have been thought it and prescribed the same medication ) then i would of never found out about this and by the time i did find out it was too late, i,ve probably said this before but it's like they tell you drugs are bad etc and then the patient thinks the only option is too go by alcohol, i still say it's a trap, when i was going to the chemist i started to notice that every time i would go for my pills they would come from a different manufacturer all the time and i just sussed this morning that this could of been suss as an overdose of the meds i were on is dangerous, i know how this is going to look but they could of been increasing the dosage in those pills all the time and no one would of been checking what was in them before they were handing them out, it would be so easy for companies that make the pills to do this to cause damage to the body to profit from future health problems that arise due to this and make it look like a natural thing or blame it on alcohol or bad diet, it would be that easy, i feel like i,ve just been murdered for profit... my bones are all cracking and everything, feet all bent etc so my future is probably pain medications etc and that is scaring the shit out of me because no one thinks about what is in the pills before they take them and they could gradually increase the dosage to get people addicted more, just look at how america has a big problem with people addicted to pain meds for example, someone is profiting from that big time, i remember back when i was a drug user people started breaking into pharmacies for either valiums or temazipam and they started to tighten that shit up fast, i often wonder where drugs like this come from that are on the street, it's like someone is putting them out deliberately to profit from them and at the same time increasing people's tolerance to them so that if in the future they are prescribed the same types of medication they have to give them stronger and more expensive treatments

Re: taking some time out

it would be easy for these companies to start slipping something into the pills un noticed that causes other diseases, something cancerous for example, something that harms you're liver, wrecks you're bones, just about every health complaint you could think of could be targeted this way, no one is checking it a the point of sale, even if they were checking they would still need to go to the same companies for the chemicals they needed to check

i,ve probably just committed suicide by saying all this ( and i know i look paranoid and delusional )... it would be easy for companies to kill someone like me and make it look natural, these guys know exactly what they are doing

Re: taking some time out

just realized how screwed i am, just cost the system a huge sum of money to fix the repercutions of a drug problem, hospital visits, doctor appointments, medicines and money to live off ( didn't even spend any of that on food or anything till recently ) and that has probably done more damage to me than harm, mentally and physically, i still think i was sane in the first place and that has messed with me more than anything throughout this expereince, i,m not even sure if that is part of the mental health problem i was diagnosed with, the govenment stopped the biggest part of my benefits, i,m now living off less than £200 a month, when that money goes i,m basically messed up, i've been out of work since 2008 and even jobs like cleaning jobs are now looking for people with experience so i know that when that money goes i,m going to have to sign on for job seekers allowance and they will just sanction my payments because i,ll be unable to find a job and they will think i,m not doing enough to find work, looking for work on the jobcentre website is probably the most depressing thing i,ve done in the past couple of weeks, this whole area is screwed, i,m lucky, i still live at home so i have food to eat if that wasn't the case i'd probably have to start living off food banks, food that is basically given away by the public and collected by charities and given out to people who are in need, that's a case of take what ever you can get, not even any fruit or veg, when this happens i,m basically going to end up back in the health system at one point and cost it more money as will many other who are already in the same position, it's basically the future for a lot of people who are in the same boat, it's becoming quite alarming the amount of people that are going through that right now

Re: taking some time out

Is there anyway you can spend your time online researching how to plant your own garden? In my neighborhood there is a company that will turn your front yard into a garden for you in exchange for sharing some of the yield with others, pretty cool idea IMO.

Re: taking some time out

don't have much space to grow anything

Re: taking some time out

You'd be surprised what you can grow in buckets. I have a friend who is growing like 10 different kinds of tomatoes, in buckets.

Working outside on a project like this would be very good for you for so many reasons mate, give it a thought. Can be done very cheaply too, just gotta get creative. And btw, these types of DIY projects are one of the things I love about the internet. So many ideas and instructional videos.

more veggies that grow in buckets here: [URL="http://www.gardeningknowhow.com/special/containers/growing-vegetables-in-buckets.htm"]Bucket Container Planting Vegetables – Using Buckets For Growing Vegetables [/URL]

[IMG]http://i.imgur.com/TOoEoGF.png[/IMG]

OR

[IMG]http://www.watchmyfoodgrow.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/02/w8598-parts_laid_out.jpg[/IMG]

Re: taking some time out

you can only do that in the summer here as we don't have the climate and lot of people just don't have gardens and even those who do don't have enough money to buy a house with enough space to do this, houses in Scotland are pretty cheap compared with the rest of the UK though, if electricity was cheaper people would probably grow more with grow lights but as it stands it's just not viable and i,ve just said people just don't have the room to do this themselves, there is a valley close to where i live that is all green houses etc and they can only stuff when the weather is good ( not even sure if they still use them any more been a while since i was down there ), they could grow a lot of food in places like that if they could afford to pay for the right lights, electricity and pay staff at the same time but the price of everything has been driven up so much over the years places like that just can't afford to run, scotland met it's target for renewable energy well before anyone else yet the price of electricity didn't come down a dime, the place is full of wind farms now, they are all over the place, most of the food you buy now is imported from countries all over the place, places with hotter climates, by the time it reaches the shelves most of it is all going off, i went into a shop the other day and was thinking of buying a single pepper and the skin was all wrinkly and stuff and it had probably been put out on the shelf "fresh" that day, mostly peppers come in packs of 3 at a time, as i,m single and cooking for one i couldn't get through 3 and would have to end up throwing the best part of them out, it's much cheaper to buy then in packs of 3 but people just end up wasting them, eating for one is hard because you can only buy certain food this way for example you can only buy things like sweetcorn in packs of 2 or tinned ( which is all sugar or salt ), i,ll eat one piece of sweetcorn tonight and end up having to eat the same thing tomorrow, you're just as well to eat junk food because the amount of stuff you throw away is just wasting you're money and junk food is cheaper in the long run, there is more junk food places in this town than there is actual normal shops and this is a relatively small place, it's the only shops that are still alive on the main street, i think that says a lot for itself

Re: taking some time out

can anyone help me look for info on something ( micko or someone ), look for statistics about how many people have been through the mental health system and have committed suicide, i feel like i,m being driven to it now, my dad is a retired nurse who worked in mental health for 37 years, he knows all the little techniques and tricks, he uses them all the time around me, i notice it all the time, the trouble with that is that everyone knows exactly what is happening but they can't explain how it is happening and it just drives a person to completely frustration, it's even worse coming from a family member ( every time i look at him i just hate the fucking site of him due to this and you only get one dad, if it had not been for him showing me what a complete asshole he was on alcohol i would probably have never taken drugs in the first place ), i,ve seen him come home from work with bruises and all sorts on his arms probably because some patients have been driven to violence by this technique, he just done something a couple of minutes ago ( not going to say how ) and i more or less snapped and flung a book, every time i,ve been in a ward i,ve seen normally docile people be driven to the point of snapping, slamming doors at 6 in the morning because someone was refused a paracetamol for a sore head and various other things, every time i,ve been in a ward i,ve noticed things and said things to nurses, i,ve said things to doctors and each time all the have done is answered me with a question like what are you talking about, that has probably driven more people to be medicated than it should have, sane people tortured to a point where they just snap and when they are classed as mentally ill there life is basically over

Re: taking some time out

all my life i grown up around people who have changed their personality as soon as they get a drink in them, seen people become aggressive on it, normally nice people become complete assholes and 2 faced, normally calm people turning to violence, it's been with me throughout my childhood right up until this point in my life, i honestly believe that is why i started off on drugs in the first place and if my life was anything to go by it could be why so many people have turned to drugs instead, once you have started to go down that route everything you have been told that is bad about them just goes out the window, you feel like you have been lied to all your life, i know what alcohol did to my childhood ( not going to go there ) and then i think about how kids these days are being brought up with people who are smoking cannabis, docile and calm all the time and loving, these kids are possibly going to grow up thinking that drugs are not as bad as they really are and if legal highs are anything to go by then the future of drug use is just going to be a scary thing to watch in the future

Re: taking some time out

i,ve just been thinking about what i,ve just said and it has made me think about some of the things i did during my druggy days, we used to gather in a house and sit and smoke weed and take "coke" in front of the guys kid who owned the house, she must of seen what we were doing all the time and wondered what it was, i even remember her putting her hand in a gram of "coke" at one point, that's how stupid it was, we didn't even consider the effects on what this would do to this kid when she was growing up, it probably effected her in the same way that alcohol effected me in my childhood, by the time she realized what it was it was too late, both her mum and dad were dead due to drug abuse, her dad died of a heroin overdose and her mum died of amphetamine and alcohol abuse, i don't even want to go there to think what that girl has been through because of this and it's just struck me that we were all responsible for this in some way, we were all focusing on getting high to notice that this could of affected this kid and completely blind to it because we were all high as fuck

Re: taking some time out

Targeted Individual?

Re: taking some time out

"mostly peppers come in packs of 3 at a time, as i,m single and cooking for one i couldn't get through 3 and would have to end up throwing the best part of them out, it's much cheaper to buy then in packs of 3 but people just end up wasting them,"

This is one of my biggest issues !! Every greengrocer/ supermarket should sell single items. It should be law !! All over the world the numbers of homeless people and working poor are growing . The people that need the food have to pay a premium for the people who can afford to buy bulk !! They do it here too! :evil:

Re: taking some time out

this whole country is driving it's self to cancer and other illnesses, i,m reading a book just now and it's telling me a lot even though i,m hopeless at reading, i didn't even know that there was arsenic in drinking water and i was drinking shitloads of the stuff, the fillings in my teeth are also supposed to be cancer causing, i made a list of everything i need to buy to try to prevent it with diet ( not even sure i can ) and it's going to cost me a fortune and it won't even last me a day ( some of it will ), i,m not even sure that i,m going to be able to afford enough to give me the recommended daily intake of vitamins, shit is scary, just look at vitamin c and then start to look at the vitamin content in fruits and veg containing vitamin c, you could spend a whole days budget on just getting enough of that in one go, like i,ve probably already said i,m probably living off more than what most families have at their disposal, place is truly fucked

Re: taking some time out

[QUOTE=harry ramsden;1190813]Targeted Individual?[/QUOTE]

what ?

Re: taking some time out

The American's on this board are all very familiar with everything you've been saying, we see it daily in our lives. Either at home for some of us, or when we drive through certain areas, but it is everywhere here.

[video=youtube;cZ7LzE3u7Bw]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cZ7LzE3u7Bw[/video]

Re: taking some time out

[video=youtube;na1gn5bHRCY]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=na1gn5bHRCY[/video]

Re: taking some time out

[QUOTE=floridaorange;1191081][video=youtube;na1gn5bHRCY]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=na1gn5bHRCY[/video][/QUOTE]

i don't even have to watch that and i know it's true, i,m spending £3-5 a day on fruit and veg ( sometimes even less ) and feeling much better already, not ate any wheat or meat in a long time, just sticking to fruit, veg and seeds, i smoked and drank was never told that this could mess up your vit b or c levels, didn't even know those were water soluble, i,m getting out the house more since i came off my meds, 2-3 times a day something that would never of happened if i didn't stop taking them, struggling a bit though because my pinky toe on my right foot is hurting like hell, haven't weighed myself or anything but the weight i,ve lost since coming off them is frightening i just got back into jeans i bought 10+ years ago ( maybe longer ) and i had to stop wearing because the meds increased my weight

Re: taking some time out

Right on Dom, that's great to hear! Keep up the good work, some of these meds can take up to a year to get completely out of your system I have been told, and I believe it. Also, its good to know that you yourself are noticing positive changes, because usually we are the last ones to notice. It can take 6 months - year of consistently taking care of yourself before any obvious changes, so keep going, its worth it!

Re: taking some time out

just clicked to something, last time i started to try my diet right i was working at the time and the shop i was going to was on the road home so i would go in there and get stuff to eat on the way home, i starting noticing all sorts of strange stuff happening around me ( can't exactly remember what exactly but i felt like i was being made to look paranoid and i started to go to another shop ( if i remember right ), i was panicking quite a bit at that point and everywhere i went it seemed to be around me, i posted on another forum about it and someone posted a thing called gang stalking and it explained it perfectly ( a systematic form of control or something like that, i think the SS used to use it to try to get people to commit suicide, probably now used as a business technique ), i remember having an appointment with the doctor and i had to leave work early one day, as i was coming up to the health center i seen everyone standing outside and i just walked passed it without going to the docs, i later found out a guy had set himself on fire inside the building, a couple of days ago i went up for an appointment at the doctors and there was an accident outside it right at the time my appointment was, again i,m going from shop to shop trying to get my diet right, it's just to coincidental that this would happen at the same time at the same time if you know what i mean, funny it's all started to happen again now that i,ve spat all this out on the forum again just like it did the last time