Sasha just retwitted this from Dj Paul Thomas. It is taken from Decoded Magazine:

[URL="http://www.decodedmagazine.com/reality-depression/"]The reality of depression - Decoded Magazine[/URL]

It's an interesting read, for sure.

[COLOR=#666666][FONT=Roboto][B]“My depression started when I realised that my parent’s marriage was ruined. When you go from living what you think is a perfect life to that, it ruins your faith in anything staying positive for long. On top of that I was bullied at school, a girl-repellent at best and I started drinking pretty early on. I had “friends” invite me out to parties just to ambush me and beat me up, I’d get badly drunk and people would piss on me and spit on me. I didn’t have anything to really look forward to at that point…”

[/B][/FONT][/COLOR] [COLOR=#666666][FONT=Roboto]These aren’t the words you’d expect to hear from one of the most successful house artists of the last few years. His energetic sets and grinning face suggest anything other than a man battling mental health issues. British DJ [URL="http://www.mercuryserver.com/forums/djdb.php?id=462"]Funkagenda[/URL] isn’t alone in his battle against depression. Far from it. Every year, 1 in 4 people suffer from depression in the U.K. and of these,18-30 years old are most affected.[/FONT][/COLOR] [COLOR=#666666][FONT=Roboto]Depression goes hand in hand with alcohol and drugs. It’s therefore perhaps not surprising, that depression is common in the world of dance music. A place to escape the banality and stress of normal life; where the music plays, the drinks and drugs flow, and your problems are locked in your drawer at work, ready to unleash once the narcotics wear off.

[/FONT][/COLOR] [COLOR=#666666][FONT=Roboto]So what effect does clubland have for those with depression?

[/FONT][/COLOR] [COLOR=#666666][FONT=Roboto]“Clubbing was a release and an escape. As time went on everything about the clubbing scene took over my life, as it was the only thing that I thought made me happy. The depression was always under the surface, and I tried my best to ignore it. The euphoria I felt for so many years was masking some serious problems for me. And decisions that I’d made whilst in that state still affect me today. ” Claire was in her teens when she first felt the onset of depression. [/FONT][/COLOR] [COLOR=#666666][FONT=Roboto]There’s still a huge dearth of knowledge surrounding depression, and expectation of who, and perhaps more significantly, who shouldn’t suffer from it.[/FONT][/COLOR] [COLOR=#666666][FONT=Roboto]A jet-set lifestyle, flying from country to country, playing to thousands of adoring fans night after night, earning a fortune while doing so. What could a DJ possibly have to be depressed about? Yet anyone who has the illness, knows it doesn’t work like this. [URL="http://www.mercuryserver.com/forums/djdb.php?id=462"]Funkagenda[/URL], aka Adam Walder, has had grammy nominations and several Beatport no.1s, has DJ’ed around the globe and collaborated with megastars. Yet Adam’s suffered from the illness throughout his career. He told me; “depression isn’t about what reasons you have to be sad NOW. Despite there being no evidence that something will go wrong, you believe it so firmly that you steer your path towards oblivion.”

[/FONT][/COLOR] [COLOR=#666666][FONT=Roboto]Adam has always been very vocal about his depression on his social media platforms, using it as a release for his problems. “I’ve learned to be very open about it because people are a lot more accepting of me talking about it. In fact I get a lot of emails and Facebook messages commending my stance on it. I just hope that I can justify the praise with my continued airing of my struggle.” But many choose to keep their issues to themselves. A recent survey from The National Institute of Mental Health discovered that nearly half of people with depression choose to battle their troubles alone, rather than shove two fingers up at the stigma that has seemed to have attached itself to depression.

If you are as old as me, and love progressive house (not Beatport’s definition!) as much as I do, you’ll remember a stunningly talented producer called Slacker, who created the seminal ‘Your Face’, as well as delivering some of the best remixes during the progressive house golden age. He also remixed Ascension’s ’Someone’ and Trancesetters’ ‘Roaches’. Slacker was the epitome of originality. His singles and remixes were always innovative and exciting. If a track had 10 remixes and one of those remixes was a Slacker remix, it would be pointless in listening to any of the others. Slacker’s would be the one everyone would play. Like [URL="http://www.mercuryserver.com/forums/djdb.php?id=462"]Funkagenda[/URL], Slacker aka Shem McCauley, had battled depression from his teenage years. Sadly, Shem lost his battle with depression in early 2012, committing suicide in Thailand, where he’d resided for the last few years of his life.

[/FONT][/COLOR] [COLOR=#666666][FONT=Roboto]I spoke to Slacker’s sister, Una, to understand a little more about Shem’s depression. “Shem started getting anxious early on when he was in his late teens, part of that could have been linked to being a little overwhelmed by the ‘fame’ they had when they were very young. We cannot put a label on what brought about the depressions though. There is depression in our family, Shem had a number of small health problems as a child any number of things could have been the root of it or it simply could have been chemical. It probably wasn’t helped by taking ecstasy during his early clubbing days – knowing now what we know about its effects on serotonin levels.” [/FONT][/COLOR] [COLOR=#666666][FONT=Roboto]But what about all that adulation, how much people loved Slacker’s music? Would that bring a release to him?

“I don’t think that popularity can be a source of relief from depression, it seems to me that knowing how many people he inspired, how much he was loved wasn’t enough to keep the darkness at bay. He certainly felt inadequate during those dark times. When he was not down he was of course flattered but modest about success.”

While Slacker’s case had the worst possible ending, [URL="http://www.mercuryserver.com/forums/djdb.php?id=462"]Funkagenda[/URL] is a shining example of battling the lows to get to the highs. Adam’s recent release, ‘One Day at a Time’ was borne from his battles with depression and alcoholism. Thankfully Adam has managed to get on top of his troubles, as his career again ascends following that hit single. “When I had my last relapse it was really bad. I was holed up in a hotel in Jamaica, Queens, drinking every minute that I was awake just to make myself pass out again. It was so bad. I went back to LA when my girlfriend came to rescue me[B]. [/B]When I got back I found a guy who could explain my addiction and my depression to me in terms I could understand and it was like a huge weight had been lifted from my shoulders. ‘One Day at a Time’ was basically an aural representation of that moment. It’s supposed to represent the ascension from sadness to being uplifted again.”[/FONT][/COLOR] [COLOR=#666666][FONT=Roboto]But as [URL="http://www.mercuryserver.com/forums/djdb.php?id=462"]Funkagenda[/URL] says, the stigma around depression is still prevalent, leading many to fight their battles alone. “There is a lot of work to be done to help the public differentiate between sadness and depression. Depression is a disease. Sadness is a feeling. You can go from sad to happy, but that doesn’t mean your depression is gone. It just means that it’s hidden better. Look at some of the great artists of the last hundred years who have experienced the highest highs and still killed themselves. All that evidence cannot be ignored. People need to learn that depression isn’t just an excuse for sad people not to try in life, or turn to addiction (which in itself becomes a serious mental health issue). Isaac Asimov said “The saddest aspect of life right now is that science gathers knowledge faster than society gathers wisdom” and I think that is something that really sums up the difference between definition and understanding.”[/FONT][/COLOR]

Re: The reality of depression - Decoded Magazine

Funkagenda should have just got some life coaching from Florida, it would have saved him years of sorrow.

Re: The reality of depression - Decoded Magazine

come on, really?

Re: The reality of depression - Decoded Magazine

Good read for sure. Depression affects us all in one way or another, since we all have someone in our family who has it, if we don't have it ourselves. I went through a couple waves of depression, some in middle school, some in high school and again in college as well actually. I haven't had any for almost 10 years now, much of which I think has to do with meeting the love of my life, my wife and just figuring out what works best for me in terms of habits, etc. I stopped most of the night life lifestyle once I met my wife, about 10 yrs ago, stopped doing drugs and stopped drinking as much. I continued to eat healthy and pursue natural highs (as cheesy as that sounds) through work and friendships. I also think MS has helped in some ways. Now I find it hard to believe I ever went through depression, and wish I had known then what I know now, but I appreciate life differently now for having gone through it.

I think a lot of what makes people depressed is what people look to for happiness. There are so many things that are marketed to people that are supposed to make them "happy," when in actuality, they won't. Searching for happiness isn't a waste of time though, I feel like I found it and I definitely searched, and failed a lot. But failure is the greatest teacher.

Re: The reality of depression - Decoded Magazine

I think depression is a chemical imbalance, period. It's either brought on by a chemical change, hormonal change, brain trauma, or genetic disposition ,but clinical depression is physically/chemically based, always.

When referring to a down cycle in life, or general sadness, or melancholy because you're working through a phase in life, none of that is really depression. If it's at all circumstantial, then it's not clinical depression. I don't believe it is the opposite of happiness, because it's physical with emotional/mental components; it hurts throughout the body and the physical pain of it can drive people to unwanted acts/behavior because they're coping with pain.

That's what many don't understand, you can't lift yourself out of it and no one can help you alleviate it either by just relating to you or talking to you; it's chemical. You can't talk yourself out of it, get a change in scenery, or meet someone who lifts you out of it if it's really depression you're dealing with. And alcohol is a depressant so if consuming alcohol, you can't really wonder why you're depressed temporarily. Alcohol brings about a physical change until the body processes it out, brain included. That's more proof it's chemically based.

I think depression is one of the most misunderstood illnesses.

Re: The reality of depression - Decoded Magazine

If it's really a disease, it should be possible to prove it, right? (blood sample, brain scan) Because we (humans) can get into depression, and can get out of depression it seems to me it's just being extremely sad for some reason.

Re: The reality of depression - Decoded Magazine

[QUOTE=barski;1133304]If it's really a disease, it should be possible to prove it, right? (blood sample, brain scan) Because we (humans) can get into depression, and can get out of depression it seems to me it's just being extremely sad for some reason.[/QUOTE]

Suffering from depression is completey different from being sad for some reason. Most people who suffer from depression never really get cured. You can have the most amazing things happening to you and still suffer from depression. Like anxiiety once it's triggered it never really goes away, people control it through coping strategies. The problem is, there is very little known about the brain and the way it works. The main treatment for depression is medicines that alter the chemistry of the the brain.

Re: The reality of depression - Decoded Magazine

[QUOTE=Zover;1133313]Suffering from depression is completey different from being sad for some reason. Most people who suffer from depression never really get cured. You can have the most amazing things happening to you and still suffer from depression. Like anxiiety once it's triggered it never really goes away, people control it through coping strategies. The problem is, there is very little known about the brain and the way it works. The main treatment for depression is medicines that alter the chemistry of the the brain.[/QUOTE] So very very true. :(

I think depression is something we really don't know about. Only 40 % of people respond positively to antidepressants. And some respond very badly. . Of those 40% they don't all respond to the same antidepressants. Which seems to me to very hit and miss. Maybe we haven't found the right chemicals. :)

Re: The reality of depression - Decoded Magazine

[QUOTE=Zover;1133277]Funkagenda should have just got some life coaching from Florida, it would have saved him years of sorrow.[/QUOTE]

:lol:

Re: The reality of depression - Decoded Magazine

[QUOTE=DIDI;1133315]So very very true. :(

I think depression is something we really don't know about. Only 40 % of people respond positively to antidepressants. And some respond very badly. . Of those 40% they don't all respond to the same antidepressants. Which seems to me to very hit and miss. Maybe we haven't found the right chemicals. :)[/QUOTE]

A majority of anti depressants when first prescribed have a almost russian roulette with placebos, there is somewhat a hit and miss attempt by doctors to figure out what's going on. It amazes me how complex our bodies can defend to external pressures such as diseases, viruses, but fail to comprehend our own inner demons.

Re: The reality of depression - Decoded Magazine

[QUOTE=barski;1133304]If it's really a disease, it should be possible to prove it, right? (blood sample, brain scan) Because we (humans) can get into depression, and can get out of depression it seems to me it's just being extremely sad for some reason.[/QUOTE]

You don't have a fucking clue, man. When you wake up sorrounded by nurses and police officers and various humanity screaming at you, you'll get it, but just perhaps. If you think that "bipolar" is just a buzz word for hipsters then you're welcomed to my world.

Re: The reality of depression - Decoded Magazine

Well, for what's worth Kiwi, I was told I had a chemical imbalance and I'm no stranger to meds either. But it's been 10 yrs since all of that. I do believe one can get passed "depression." Bipolar disorder is another story. I still think humans can be very resilient though. Not saying it's up to individuals to just pull themselves out of their depression but circumstances I do believe can play a role. It's unfair to exclude all environmental factors IMHO, but tell me I'm wrong all you want :).

Re: The reality of depression - Decoded Magazine

Wishful thinking. It depends on the state of your disorder.

Re: The reality of depression - Decoded Magazine

100% bro I know it does. Some people it's a lifetime struggle. 2 of my closest friends are bipolar and my dad as well (diagnosed). I'm no stranger to it. I don't mean to sound insensitive or what not. I personally think though that there is a possibility that a child could be susceptible to depression and then raised by a parent with let's say undiagnosed depression, and then by no fault to either party involved the child is diagnosed with depression. It's sort of the nature + nurture taking place. If the same kid is then sent across the country to say California where they learn new ways of being, it's possible they could develop enough coping mechanisms to live with milder lessor more tolerable forms of depression or perhaps outgrow it in some ways. Not saying it's possible or even likely for most people / but it has happened and does happen I am sure. "California" is just an arbitrary place that does have a consciousness movement taking place, but then again so do many other places, just saying.

Re: The reality of depression - Decoded Magazine

I'm also a bit of a dreamer though, which can seem stupid to mor linear/logical thinkers.

Re: The reality of depression - Decoded Magazine

^1000% agree on that bit. I just say that when you suffer from it and all the people around you think you're just weak and lazy, that will make you feel lonely and misunderstood and that seed will eventually grow till it becomes part of the problem.

But I don't want to be too aggressive about it, I simply know from experience that even if your mind is still working -I still have a good job, etc.- most of the time your body will fail you.

Re: The reality of depression - Decoded Magazine

One good habit that does help anyone is a minimum of 30 mins a day of working out. Sure some people are physically unable, and to them I say god bless. But if you are able, make the time, get it in. It's really important. It's not thee answer, as there is no 1 answer. It did help change my life when I was 18 though. Someone older and wiser than I suggested I get a workout plan together and once I did, shit just started getting better for me. When I quit working jobs I thought would make my parents proud, shit got a little better. When I stopped all Liqour intake, shit def got better, though I do still drink the occasional beer. When I read books about shame and family secrets and co-dependancy shit got better.

Some people I know are just too damn smart for their own good. They overthink everything to the point of inaction. They are unable to justify changing habits, thinking about things differently than their parents or what not. They feel and stay stuck for a variety of reasons to no fault of their own or as I said - have physical disabilities making change impossible. God bless'm

Re: The reality of depression - Decoded Magazine

Recently, I was bucked very, very hard while on a large horse. I managed to stay on because I'm strong & I believe another force helped me. Now, I am hurting pretty much every time I move. I could say "I'm depressed" because I'm hurting and feeling down by the ache. But I'm happy that though the wind was knocked out of me & I was nauseous the rest of the day, I felt pain like nothing before, everything works out for me, I can move my spine just fine, and there is nothing to feel sad about. What I'm experiencing is sadness to due pain & sadness I mostly likely won't ever again do something I used to really enjoy because I saw my life flash in front of me and for a moment I thought it was over. Or, I could be feeling sad for other reasons (thought related). I know this sadness will end because ultimately I'm a happy person all around. You can be a happy, emotionally & physically (bodily) healthy individual and still suffer bouts of depression that have nothing to do with people around you, your thoughts, your surroundings, concentrating on others, helping others, etc. You could even be very, very successful in every area of your life and still deal with clinical depression. It has nothing to do with coping mechanisms (those help with sadness & confusion), if you're depressed you can try the medical community who, like someone else said, it's hit or miss with medication and sometimes that makes things all around worse for you.

Depression is misunderstood, like I said, not to argue with anyone. Sometimes it's ok to say "Hey, can we chat? The sound of your voice would really help me feel better today." and that is not co-dependent, bipolar, depression; it's normal, healthy living, and asking for what you want. Try it or not. :p You learn who you can count on, who really loves you, and who you can't because they really don't. It happens when you need them the most.

Re: The reality of depression - Decoded Magazine

[COLOR=#CCCCCC]@Zover: "Suffering from depression is completey different from being sad for some reason."[/COLOR]

Google images, depression, what do you see?

I know this is too easy... ;)

Re: The reality of depression - Decoded Magazine

[QUOTE=sbando;1133335]You don't have a fucking clue, man. When you wake up sorrounded by nurses and police officers and various humanity screaming at you, you'll get it, but just perhaps. If you think that "bipolar" is just a buzz word for hipsters then you're welcomed to my world.[/QUOTE]

I was talking about depression. You're talking about bipolar...

Re: The reality of depression - Decoded Magazine

[QUOTE=barski;1133400][COLOR=#CCCCCC]@Zover: "Suffering from depression is completey different from being sad for some reason."[/COLOR]

Google images, depression, what do you see?

I know this is too easy... ;)[/QUOTE]

I prefer to read than look at pictures

Re: The reality of depression - Decoded Magazine

[QUOTE=barski;1133402]I was talking about depression. You're talking about bipolar...[/QUOTE]

What's the difference?

[QUOTE]Bipolar disorder, also known as bipolar affective disorder, manic-depressive illness, or affective psychosis[/QUOTE]

What I really meant: do not play with someone who's depressed, by saying random stuff and without acknowledging his illness.You can make serious damage. If you care about that person, help him/her find a good doctor.

Re: The reality of depression - Decoded Magazine

I work in the area of mental health - mainly with people who have enduring mental health conditions (predominantly schizophrenia and to a lesser degree schizo-affective disorder). Major Depressive Disorder is probably what is being discussed here in the sense it is a chronic condition which can cause much suffering. From my experience psychotherapy can prove to be a very useful intervention working with depression, in particular reactive depression (which can be an understandable depressive reaction to a life event such as losing a job, a loved one etc..)

Didi you are right, there is still a lot to learn about these processes. The damage of stigma also needs to appreciated if we talk about mental ill-health.

Re: The reality of depression - Decoded Magazine

[QUOTE=KiwiTollway;1133387]Recently, I was bucked very, very hard while on a large horse. I managed to stay on because I'm strong & I believe another force helped me. Now, I am hurting pretty much every time I move. I could say "I'm depressed" because I'm hurting and feeling down by the ache. But I'm happy that though the wind was knocked out of me & I was nauseous the rest of the day, I felt pain like nothing before, everything works out for me, I can move my spine just fine, and there is nothing to feel sad about. What I'm experiencing is sadness to due pain & sadness I mostly likely won't ever again do something I used to really enjoy because I saw my life flash in front of me and for a moment I thought it was over. Or, I could be feeling sad for other reasons (thought related). I know this sadness will end because ultimately I'm a happy person all around. You can be a happy, emotionally & physically (bodily) healthy individual and still suffer bouts of depression that have nothing to do with people around you, your thoughts, your surroundings, concentrating on others, helping others, etc. You could even be very, very successful in every area of your life and still deal with clinical depression. It has nothing to do with coping mechanisms (those help with sadness & confusion), if you're depressed you can try the medical community who, like someone else said, it's hit or miss with medication and sometimes that makes things all around worse for you.

Depression is misunderstood, like I said, not to argue with anyone. Sometimes it's ok to say "Hey, can we chat? The sound of your voice would really help me feel better today." and that is not co-dependent, bipolar, depression; it's normal, healthy living, and asking for what you want. Try it or not. :p You learn who you can count on, who really loves you, and who you can't because they really don't. It happens when you need them the most.[/QUOTE]

That's certainly true, you can be all of those things. People can also be not very aware of themselves, their thoughts and what may be taking place in their subconscious based on the conditioning they experienced during childhood. Sort of like the tapes they play in their brains running the show.

It takes all kinds, the experience of life is different for everyone. I am grateful that I am not depressed anymore and wish others the same. Micko however would be the specialist on this topic > the rest of us :).

I'll mention one other thing I learned rather recently, past couple years. And that was to stop giving a fuck if people liked me or not. In my business its very easy to develop a people pleaser attitude, that shit is not good.

Another thing that helped, beyond self-love, is self-grace. Allowing myself to feel the spectrum of emotions that is life. Not pushing away negative thoughts so much as embracing them as part of the human experience. Along with happiness, sadness, anger, rage, all of it. It's all good. It makes us humans. If we were always just "happy" that's fake nonsense. But a lot of people like to "stay even-keeled" or "consistently" one way. That shit kinda sucks as well... those patters of behavior become our identities if we stick with them for a long long time. But people can change, if they want to. And then some people have low blood sugar and they feel depressed because of that. There are so many reasons why someone might be feeling depressed. I just think people are capable of change. Have a nice day :)

Re: The reality of depression - Decoded Magazine

^thoughtful response. it really is all good and I, for one, appreciate the threads you start even when I find the title abhorrent.:)

so far, my day has been great! expensive, but great. $380 at the eye doctor for exam & contacts for my child is a bit much, but they gave me a $70 coupon rebate & referral to a good chiropractor for me. Parents lead hectic lives.

same to you FL, thanks

@Micko, that must be a hard job. Kudos to you & thanks for the insight and bringing up the important point about stigma. I love that movie Silver Linings Playbook made an honest attempt at diluting the stigma & Bradley Cooper did a great job on his role. (Movies are never really realistic though, thankfully so, but I appreciated the screenwriter's attempt.)

Re: The reality of depression - Decoded Magazine

This is one area I am very passionate about, not just depression but the whole area of mental health. I have been working in the area for nearly 12 years and have certainly learned along the way. One of the most damaging aspects is certainly labelling. It boxes people into an incredibly tight narrow view of humanity (which is flawed to begin with) and not really seeing people as they are - those who have a life story, dreams, loved ones etc. as well as possessing a constellation of symptoms (in the case of schizophrenia for example). It is much better to treat the symptom than to label someone.

Labelling someone such as "mad" or a "schizo" generates all sorts of negative connotations (in large part due to negative and sensationalist media reporting in TV/paper/film etc). That coupled with gender socialisation means (and research suggests this) that men are less likely to approach mental health services for fear of being stigmatised. For example the name schizophrenia was changed in Japan in 2006 to a more medically orientated name having the impact that more people engaged with services - the reason being people did not fear the new name as much and did not internalise self-stigmatised statements such as "I'm worthless", "Sure who would employ me", "People will think I'm violent" etc..

Also, for what it's worth regarding a discussion of depression, the psychology of shame has proved to be hugely important in understanding the phenomenon of depression. Often the key to understanding the root of depression is to understand the root of shame in a person's life

Fascinating thread and so bloody important that we as a society try to empathise with our brethren for we are all capable of suffering mental ill-health

Re: The reality of depression - Decoded Magazine

Glad Kiwi is ok too, that horse incident sounds like a close call. I say "sounds" because I hear a voice in my head when I'm reading, and the voice has a tone. :lol: When exactly were you bucked? Have you seen a doctor?

MS can seem great and fun if you login while in a lighthearted mood. MS can seem cold and dark if not, this is from my experience.

Re: The reality of depression - Decoded Magazine

[QUOTE=Micko;1133531]This is one area I am very passionate about, not just depression but the whole area of mental health. I have been working in the area for nearly 12 years and have certainly learned along the way. One of the most damaging aspects is certainly labelling. It boxes people into an incredibly tight narrow view of humanity (which is flawed to begin with) and not really seeing people as they are - those who have a life story, dreams, loved ones etc. as well as possessing a constellation of symptoms (in the case of schizophrenia for example). It is much better to treat the symptom than to label someone.

Labelling someone such as "mad" or a "schizo" generates all sorts of negative connotations (in large part due to negative and sensationalist media reporting in TV/paper/film etc). That coupled with gender socialisation means (and research suggests this) that men are less likely to approach mental health services for fear of being stigmatised. For example the name schizophrenia was changed in Japan in 2006 to a more medically orientated name having the impact that more people engaged with services - the reason being people did not fear the new name as much and did not internalise self-stigmatised statements such as "I'm worthless", "Sure who would employ me", "People will think I'm violent" etc..

Also, for what it's worth regarding a discussion of depression, the psychology of shame has proved to be hugely important in understanding the phenomenon of depression. Often the key to understanding the root of depression is to understand the root of shame in a person's life

Fascinating thread and so bloody important that we as a society try to empathise with our brethren for we are all capable of suffering mental ill-health[/QUOTE] Thank you :)

Re: The reality of depression - Decoded Magazine

@Micko, so true, everything you said I really agree with. My cousin's son started experiencing symptoms of psychosis when he left home to go to college and his doctors mentioned schizophrenia, the onset of which is usually during a crucial time in someone's life when they're surprisingly young. (I never knew anything about it until he was hospitalized.) I hear he's doing fine now though, they have reduced his stress and he's living at home while going to college now. I don't think he was diagnosed with it. It is surprising also, how little science knows about developing brains & mental illnesses considering this is 2014. I think they'll find what is considered mental illness these days is actually many times symptoms brought on by stress or trauma. That's cool they have renamed it in Japan to help people cope. Thanks for the insight, again. Interesting!!

Re: The reality of depression - Decoded Magazine

^ I am glad to hear a diagnosis of schizophrenia wasn't made - that label can haunt a person in terms of lost opportunities in life. First Episodes of Psychosis are treated much much better compared to before and the hope is it doesn't become a full blown enduring psychotic illness. Roughly 1 in 3 people who are diagnosed with schizophrenia make a decent recovery and can go on to live fulfilling lives. The key (as far as I'm concerned) is support and a willingness to talk about symptoms as well as compliance with medication. The medical model certainly prevails in the area of mental health but slowly, very slowly this is evolving. Another crucial point is to support people not to internalise stigmatising statements and this one reason I have so much love for psychotherapy. So many people "give up" in their willingness to embrace life when they receive a "label" such as schizophrenia - this has been coined the "why try" effect and is very powerful.

Re: The reality of depression - Decoded Magazine

@FL, the ranch was very sketchy looking to me and I really wanted to cancel our scheduled rides. That morning, as soon as I woke up, I had a whole conversation in my mind about Christopher Reeves (what the heck?) why? idk... I kept getting the advice to hold on, really hold on tight if anything happens. I don't know if I was being prepared for it or if my thoughts caused it... like I said, I'm kind of psychic, no joke. I didn't tell anyone about this, just went along. (I know better now.)

The horse and I were climbing a very steep ridge about 12 ft straight up with a sharp right turn on the top of the ridge & we were right behind our guide. I don't know what happened, really, because we'd been climbing shorter ridges all day and it was fine and really fun. We'd been loping and trotting in a field for about 1/2 hour beforehand, all really fun.

But this time, all I remember is my horse taking a few steps up the ridge & then I was taking flight off the saddle, and the words I'd heard earlier that morning in my mind "hold on as tight as you can" replayed. Then I felt what seemed like a semi ram me in the back so hard all I saw was white. Then, wham again. everything was white & felt like slow motion. I couldn't breathe and felt out of control completely. Then, wham a 3rd time. I said to myself "oh nooooo, one more time and I'm dead." and then he stopped. But I had no air to breathe, felt like every rib had been crushed honestly, and pain was radiating all through my back and shoulders, shocking pain really, and I have a very high pain threshold. Did he lose his footing and buck? Did he feel off balance and buck? Maybe he could make the right turn? I don't know. There were 4 people behind us on their horses and no one could say what happened.

I had to wait to catch my breath, then I kept asking "What went wrong?" and my instinct told me to get off that horse asap. But I didn't want to ruin the ride for anyone and we all walked to the ranch very slowly. I was sick the rest of the day, really sick.... and in shock emotionally. I think I was also dehydrated because it was a 3 hour ride in the hot sun starting at noon, so I downed 3 whole water bottles as soon as we reached the car. I'd also had a Benadryl beforehand because I'm allergic and that might have dehydrated me as well.

My husband kept telling me I needed an MRI the next day, but I didn't listen. I'm still really sore and it happened 10 days ago. My back hurts at night primarily, from hip to waist area, unless I stay perfectly still. It felt like such a close call I don't think I'll ever ride again, honestly. Horses are such powerfully strong animals. I just don't ever want to feel that again. I'm really glad I was able to hold on. I think I will see a chiropractor soon.

I was born with a dislocated hip and had to wear a leg/hip brace from ankle to waist when I was an infant for my first year. The brace kept my legs in a frog position and seeing me restricted like that made my mother very sad. lol The guide we were with was a surgical nurse and she said maybe that had something to do with the pain I felt (she asked me about my skeletal history), but I don't think so.

That's my scary bucking horse story! lol Thanks for asking. I'm very grateful I can still move around and didn't fall off. I take Aleve or Tylenol before I go to sleep and it helps alot. (I can't really handle any pain meds too well.) I'm more of an all-natural-type human. I've never been to a chiropractor & am I little hesitant to go. I know one thing, I do not want to be braced or I will have serious depression issues I think. (there, brought it back around to this thread. lol)

Your assessment of ms seems spot on. Will be watchful for a mood and stay away. :shock: :D only human though

It does seem to me like some people have to wrestle everything to the ground here and kill it sometimes. what is up with that? :Whoaa:

Re: The reality of depression - Decoded Magazine

Interesting read Good example between depression and being sad. Sometimes I'm fucking sad, but that doesnt mean i am a depressive person. Similar but different.

Re: The reality of depression - Decoded Magazine

Go get an MRI! You are a good writer. But go to the dr. That's scary as hell.

Re: The reality of depression - Decoded Magazine

[QUOTE=Micko;1133542]^ I am glad to hear a diagnosis of schizophrenia wasn't made - that label can haunt a person in terms of lost opportunities in life. First Episodes of Psychosis are treated much much better compared to before and the hope is it doesn't become a full blown enduring psychotic illness. Roughly 1 in 3 people who are diagnosed with schizophrenia make a decent recovery and can go on to live fulfilling lives. The key (as far as I'm concerned) is support and a willingness to talk about symptoms as well as compliance with medication. The medical model certainly prevails in the area of mental health but slowly, very slowly this is evolving. Another crucial point is to support people not to internalise stigmatising statements and this one reason I have so much love for psychotherapy. So many people "give up" in their willingness to embrace life when they receive a "label" such as schizophrenia - this has been coined the "why try" effect and is very powerful.[/QUOTE]

Ya, like calling kids ADD.

Re: The reality of depression - Decoded Magazine

wise men say depression is sickness of the soul..

is when the soul is hungry for something that its not getting..

so search for what hungers your soul and feed it from it

Re: The reality of depression - Decoded Magazine

[QUOTE=trick12;1133629]wise men say depression is sickness of the soul..

it's when the soul is hungry for something that its not getting...[/QUOTE]

There is definitely something to this.

The soul knows. Music helps :LoveYou: & can communicate to the soul in a certain way, as does meditation, help from caring people like Micko, physical activity, nature, brain therapies, and the right chemical balance. Souls are simple & complicated, strong & fragile.

Hopefully won't read judging from this but..........During a dark period in my life, I took medication for depression, slept all night (8-10 hrs), woke up, got my kids to school, slept until I picked them up (8 hrs), made dinner, chatted with everyone, went back to bed, I slept 18 hrs out of 24, as if 90% of me wanted out of my life while 10% hung in there, mostly for the sake of my kids & husband. Felt like my soul was wrapped in chains. Went to the dr, they increased the meds, same result, chains. I look back now and see I lost years inside what many would consider a 'perfect life.' Never again. I feed my soul joy disregarding anyone's thoughts or opinions. Each individual has preferences for a reason & sometimes those preferences don't fit other's idea of how life should be. In one sense, I know the meds helped save me, in another they ruined me for awhile. (what is it about this place that makes you confess stuff? lol) Judge me if you want, I couldn't care less. I'm alive & happy, and grateful beyond measure for all of it!

Labeling, well I've had a few myself, still do, that's all a bunch of crap really. We're meant to be unique individuals, not neatly fitting into molds. Creative types especially.

Re: The reality of depression - Decoded Magazine

[QUOTE=trick12;1133629]wise men say depression is sickness of the soul..

is when the soul is hungry for something that its not getting..

so search for what hungers your soul and feed it from it[/QUOTE] Music !!

Re: The reality of depression - Decoded Magazine

[QUOTE=KiwiTollway;1133661]There is definitely something to this.

The soul knows. Music helps :LoveYou: & can communicate to the soul in a certain way, as does meditation, help from caring people like Micko, physical activity, nature, brain therapies, and the right chemical balance. Souls are simple & complicated, strong & fragile.

Hopefully won't read judging from this but..........During a dark period in my life, I took medication for depression, slept all night (8-10 hrs), woke up, got my kids to school, slept until I picked them up (8 hrs), made dinner, chatted with everyone, went back to bed, I slept 18 hrs out of 24, as if 90% of me wanted out of my life while 10% hung in there, mostly for the sake of my kids & husband. Felt like my soul was wrapped in chains. Went to the dr, they increased the meds, same result, chains. I look back now and see I lost years inside what many would consider a 'perfect life.' Never again. I feed my soul joy disregarding anyone's thoughts or opinions. Each individual has preferences for a reason & sometimes those preferences don't fit other's idea of how life should be. In one sense, I know the meds helped save me, in another they ruined me for awhile. (what is it about this place that makes you confess stuff? lol) Judge me if you want, I couldn't care less. I'm alive & happy, and grateful beyond measure for all of it!

Labeling, well I've had a few myself, still do, that's all a bunch of crap really. We're meant to be unique individuals, not neatly fitting into molds. Creative types especially.[/QUOTE]

So do you feel better now or does the darkness still return now and then?

Re: The reality of depression - Decoded Magazine

[QUOTE=trick12;1133629]wise men say depression is sickness of the soul..

is when the soul is hungry for something that its not getting..

so search for what hungers your soul and feed it from it[/QUOTE]

Wisdom indeed.

Re: The reality of depression - Decoded Magazine

[QUOTE=Matt Black;1133994]So do you feel better now or does the darkness still return now and then?[/QUOTE]

Thank you for asking Matt!

As bad as things were then (which I hid from everyone), things got better, then took a far more downward turn (& some people gave up on me) and then got even worst (I could have never imagined possible), which I won't go into detail.

It's been a steep climb, but I think I'm inhabiting upper levels now, and although I sometimes slip a slight step here or there, if deep darkness & thick fog ever falls upon me again, I've learned how to catch the glimmers of light that are always present, follow those & how to find the clarity. For that, I'm grateful. I feel so much better, there aren't words to describe.

We're all fragile & resilient, but maybe creative types/minds have a more vivid [view of] sensing contrast in all forms? And I appreciate more those who've stayed with me on my journey & remain committed to me (astoundingly). Moreover, I really appreciate being needed most of all --by others and by my eternal self. I can't even remember the last time I felt depression, seems like that was a different person who went through all of that. :D

**and how nice to get PMs from here today, thanks so much!! cool people here, really!