[SIZE=4][COLOR=#0000ff][B]Can you tell me how to get over years of failure. Or how to overcome the lack of motivation that comes from it because i can't seem to let shit go. The door is open right in front of me but I can't fit through the entrance with this damn bag I am carrying. Maybe some of you has some things i need to hear.[/B][/COLOR][/SIZE]

Re: Can anyone tell me how

You are brave enough to come here and ask, that is one step .

Re: Can anyone tell me how

a wise australian man once told me:

"Don't be a pussy. Be a hard cunt. Don't you like to get your balls wet?"

words to live by.

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Step outside your comfort zones and change everything, one day at a time. Use the pain as your motivation to change. Find people in history or living who have written books who have overcome great obstacles in life, read them. Follow the paths of people you look up to and respect. Take excellent care of your mind, body and soul, nobody else is going to for you.

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Question to the OP ... r u suffering from a chronic depression ? Is that what you feel?

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Getting over failures—just got to keep your goal in mind and stick with it. I think we go into endeavours with an expected outcome in mind, and when there is dissonance, we write it off as a fail. But keeping an open mind, there're generally stuff to be learnt, unexpected and maybe unwanted. (Speaking from my own recent fucked up Chinese experience.)

Which leads to the next issue with motivation. Just keep at it, what else can you do? Give up? That's when you really fail. Again drawing on that Chinese experience, I had a decent job and good living in Sydney but when China came up, I thought what the hell, if I don't do it now, I never will. (And to Florida's point getting out of comfort zone) So I did. And then it sucked, I stuck it out for as long as possible, then I quit. But I made some contacts, I have a strong lead for a new job, and soon I'm off to a different city to follow up.

And that might suck. Nothing might come through and I might have to (touch wood) go through the whole job hunting process in a foreign city. In a shittier economy. That's not going to be fun. And I've already moved countries and did the whole job hunt thing before and it was depressing as fuck so I kinda know what to expect and can only hope it won't be worse.

But what else can I (or you) do really, besides keeping at it?

Just keep a goal or bigger picture in mind. I find it increasingly hard to make long term plans but I always try to work with a 5-yr plan. The day-to-day, the setbacks, or the steps forward, it's easy to get caught up in the minutiae, and of course a lot of us procrastinate. Right now I should be updating my portfolio but here I am procrastinating :lol:

But if we keep at it, more often than not, we'll be surprised at where we are now compared to 3, 2, or even 1 year ago.

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Cant you open the door with your foot?

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[QUOTE=phuck'm-up;982516][SIZE=4][COLOR=#0000ff][B]Can you tell me how to get over years of failure. Or how to overcome the lack of motivation that comes from it because i can't seem to let shit go. The door is open right in front of me but I can't fit through the entrance with this damn bag I am carrying. Maybe some of you has some things i need to hear.[/B][/COLOR][/SIZE][/QUOTE]

some people just don't realise just how lucky they are or how privileged they are compared with others, a good start is actually seeing what is all around you

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Just because others are worse off doesn't make the pain any less .

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[SIZE=4][FONT=book antiqua][COLOR=#A52A2A]“Life is like riding a bicycle. To keep your balance you must keep moving.” — Albert Einstein[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE]

It may be hard at first, but no matter the obstacle, what has happened has happened, nothing can or will change it. Turn the page, find something in you and drive on, and as Florida says keep your mind, body, and soul as one.

Everyone's been through it, pain, suffering, disillusion, and a constant regret of the cloud which does not stop raining over you, But there is something deep in all of us which can lead to a change. Start with small distractions and lead to bigger ones. Occupancy is the biggest winner to fight procrastination. I find something simple as reading a book to just take things off my mind.

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change your context. It´s the only thing you can "directly" go and change. it´s a hard but perfect start.

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turn sadness into anger, direct that anger into something positive and change your life. One thing that I always keep in mind is that no matter how hard life gets, no matter how bad the cards dealt are, no matter if everything fucks up....if you try, hard, you can at least make it all a little better. Another thing that i highly recommend is self discovery...you need to be a tough SOB but seclusion with ones thoughts so as to evaluate ones personality and actions can do wonders...makes you tougher not dependant on anyone and self motivated for the goal YOU want. Keep your head up dude! I know it can get tough...but it goes in cycles...you need to get on the right track and then everything will click into place...you just need to figure out what YOU want and what makes YOU happy...and then go for it like a mentalist.

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Asking for help is a big step in the right direction.

At some point in everyone's life there comes a point where they feel lost, stuck, or alone. Please remember you are never alone, and that even when things seem bleak, they will get better over time. I know this is hard to believe, but I promise you it is true. A few years ago I was at a point in my life where I didn't feel anything could get better. I felt like my world was falling apart, but you know what, it didn't. I made some changes (moved back to my home town and got a new job) and now 3 years later, I have never been happier.

For some, leaning on close friends and family does wonders. There are always people who care about you, so use them to lean on and help with the burden...even when you don't think there are people in your life that care, I promise you there are so never give up!

For others, focusing their energy on something they love to do helps. For me, I focused on my photography.....it gave my mind a distraction, if only for a few minutes. If you add a few minutes a day of positive energy in your life, you will slowly start to feel better. If you don't have anything you love to do, try some new things like others have mentioned. If there is something you have always thought of doing (taking a course/class, learning a sport or how to play an instrument), but never had the courage to do so, step out of your comfort zone and give it a try.

Stay strong hug

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Awww man, I'm so very sorry to hear that you are going through a rough time, my heart goes out to you mate. Stay strong and think positive thoughts, I know that it is rough out there. when I'm down and out, I try to get an attitude of gratitude and sometimes, just sometimes that helps.

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There's a guy I know (hint), who's living all that and some more, sense of failure, all self-esteem gone, addiction to sleeping pills, then depression and then business going down the drain. There is no solution unless you re-invent your own life, no one's gonna fix it for you and from a certain age on time will fly faster and you will miss the good things you still had when you first cried "rock bottom".

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just know that it all can change in a minute, and this state wont be for eternity...look at those lower than you to be thankful for what you have and most of all what i really found to be the key of happiness is to accept and be satisfied of what you have and are. Gotta keep moving. gotta keep going...

if u fall in a hole would you just sit in there? no, dust urself up and get back on the road, and repeat

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[SIZE=3][B]Wow! What a great dose of understanding and love from far away places and people. Of who I know very little about. Thanks for the words. Thank you for your thoughts. It means a lot to me.

I was nervous about the post. Not quite sure why I even posted up my feelings to begin with. Quite glad I did. The response form you all brightened my attitude. Still in the poor me shits from time to time but seeing light at the end of the darkness. [COLOR=#0000ff]Just keeping at it.[/COLOR] Can't give up.

If I did not have a fly rod and some water to wade around in I would be near postal..

Been getting some great music lately and finding myself listening a lot more. If that makes sense? Taking my time instead of just blowing through gigs of music. Finding some ridicules shit too! Amazing how good some of the stuff lately is.

You guys really made my day. I love you![/B][/SIZE]

:CandyPop:

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Music brother,that's the key!!!

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There is no part of my life that hasn't been made better by music :)

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[video=youtube;GPqD_bpA72U]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GPqD_bpA72U&ob=av2n[/video]

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listen to dig deeper phase1, it will release some good endorphins

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this thread is why [ms] rocks.

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Glad you are starting to feel a bit better. Stay positive & positive things will happen :)

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Also understand that everyone has to work at it or has had to work at it to find their bliss. Don't associate with people who see the worst in people or life... and don't feel sorry for yourself or let others feel sorry for you. You have to take full responsibility for how you treat yourself and others, and as soon as you treat yourself and others with love and respect and kindness (and a lot of humility) the world becomes an amazing place.

(currently on vacay in Punta Cana)

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[QUOTE=THE_LIGHT;983829]Music brother,that's the key!!![/QUOTE]

Love you bro

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[QUOTE=floridaorange;984049]Also understand that everyone has to work at it or has had to work at it to find their bliss. Don't associate with people who see the worst in people or life... and don't feel sorry for yourself or let others feel sorry for you. You have to take full responsibility for how you treat yourself and others, and as soon as you treat yourself and others with love and respect and kindness (and a lot of humility) the world becomes an amazing place.

(currently on vacay in Punta Cana)[/QUOTE]

:Smiley:

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I love this place. You people rock.

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[QUOTE=DIDI;983842]There is no part of my life that hasn't been made better by music :)[/QUOTE]

Could not agree more with this!

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Me, I'm not practicing what I'm preaching. Back to old, dark habits

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[QUOTE=Huggie Smiles;984014]this thread is why [ms] rocks.[/QUOTE]

Obviously some users are bigger than others.

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There are 2 things I can suggest you do once a day that changed my life for the better and others too. I'll start with the first and most powerful: Each morning when you wake up, write 3 pages in a small journal (size as large as your hand approx). Write anything that comes to your mind, don't edit or sensor your thoughts, just write. It doesn't even need to make sense. 3 pages, every morning, first thing after waking up. Do this for several months.

2nd thing. Every day spend 30 - 45 minutes doing something active. It can be as simple as pushups or situps or riding your bike.

Although both of these things will greatly help, if I had to choose one, it would be journaling. Although it is important to get in some kind of a workout every day as part of your daily routine. It greatly affects your ability to manage your moods, your feelings and it helps with sleeping, eating, etc, etc.

good luck.

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[QUOTE=phuck'm-up;982516]The door is open right in front of me but I can't fit through the entrance with this [B]damn bag I am carrying[/B].[/QUOTE]

That's where you gotta start imo. Carrying bags full of regrets and sorrows is surely something to block you from proceeding in Life. Either you start solving the remaining problems out one by one till your soul can breathe again or you learn to get over everything and start from scratch. But I know from experience that getting over things by coping with them is the better way to learn from the past and to head into Future. Sounds a bit like a Fortune cookie I know lol but that's how I see it. I also know that you can't solve everything but for me, a solution can also be to at least accept that you can't change some things.

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[QUOTE=TomTom;985860]That's where you gotta start imo. Carrying bags full of regrets and sorrows is surely something to block you from proceeding in Life. Either you start solving the remaining problems out one by one till your soul can breathe again or you learn to get over everything and start from scratch. But I know from experience that getting over things by coping with them is the better way to learn from the past and to head into Future. Sounds a bit like a Fortune cookie I know lol but that's how I see it. I also know that you can't solve everything but for me, a solution can also be to at least accept that you can't change some things.[/QUOTE] :Respect::Respect::Respect: That damn bag :)

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[IMG]http://i53.tinypic.com/29ws74n.jpg[/IMG]

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^^ likes that

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[IMG]http://i52.tinypic.com/2pqnaix.jpg[/IMG]

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It's not that easy.

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[QUOTE=floridaorange;985857]There are 2 things I can suggest you do once a day that changed my life for the better and others too. I'll start with the first and most powerful: Each morning when you wake up, write 3 pages in a small journal (size as large as your hand approx). Write anything that comes to your mind, don't edit or sensor your thoughts, just write. It doesn't even need to make sense. 3 pages, every morning, first thing after waking up. Do this for several months.

2nd thing. Every day spend 30 - 45 minutes doing something active. It can be as simple as pushups or situps or riding your bike.

Although both of these things will greatly help, if I had to choose one, it would be journaling. Although it is important to get in some kind of a workout every day as part of your daily routine. It greatly affects your ability to manage your moods, your feelings and it helps with sleeping, eating, etc, etc.

good luck.[/QUOTE]

Good tips. I used to write at the end of the day.

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[QUOTE=floridaorange;985857]There are 2 things I can suggest you do once a day that changed my life for the better and others too. I'll start with the first and most powerful: Each morning when you wake up, write 3 pages in a small journal (size as large as your hand approx). Write anything that comes to your mind, don't edit or sensor your thoughts, just write. It doesn't even need to make sense. 3 pages, every morning, first thing after waking up. Do this for several months. .[/QUOTE]

sounds interesting. I could complete the three pages, always with the same wish. :D

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[IMG]http://i31.photobucket.com/albums/c354/sbando/choose.jpg[/IMG]