[B]Valentine's Day Specials[/B]
[B]This time of year, couples can take advantage of the great Valentine's deals many businesses have to offer. Here are some of the bargains that are available:[/B]
[LIST] [][B]JetBlue[/B]: Last-minute Elopers' Special fares to Reno or Las Vegas with coupon code HUGEMISTAKE [][B]1-800-Flowers[/B]: Bouquet of any kind guaranteed to be delivered at least two days late, and without apology or refund; applies to any order, ever, not just those on Valentine's Day [][B]Frederick's of Hollywood[/B]: 10 percent off everything crotchless [][B]T.G.I. Friday's[/B]: Free margaritas for every table that looks like the guy's having trouble closing the deal [][B]Target[/B]: Half off candles you can light and enjoy until he comes home and says this place smells like a goddamn whorehouse and blows them out, throwing them in the trash before heading into the bedroom to play [I]Call Of Duty: Modern Warfare 2[/I] [][B]Sears Portrait Studio[/B]: Free after-hours erotic portrait session when you call Doug on his home phone [][B]Rite Aid[/B]: Complimentary can of Axe body spray with every NuvaRing purchased [][B]Thomas Kinkade Art Gallery[/B]: Available for a limited time only at the price of $499.49, a new original painting signed by Kinkade himself and titled "Fuckin' In The Snow" [/LIST] [url]http://www.theonion.com/content/infograph/valentines_day_specials[/url]