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[ms] · Est. May 2002

Music madethis place,we just kept itgoing...

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Forums / General Yakkity Yak

Joke time again...

50 durable postsStarted 2004-06-17Latest 2004-09-24
#772Post 1 of 50

just too bad no karma involved... :wink:

A three year old little boy was examining his testicles while taking a bath.

"Mom," he asked, "Are these my brains?"

Mom answered, "Not yet."

bum-bum-bum crash

#199634Post 2 of 50

nice.....

#199635Post 3 of 50

:lol:

#258966Post 4 of 50

Re: Joke time again...

...A sandwich walks into a bar. Says, "bartender, gimme a beer." Bartender says, "sorry, we dont server food here."

#258981Post 5 of 50

Re: Joke time again...

A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks, "why the long face?"

#259055Post 6 of 50

Re: Joke time again...

What did the Zero say to the Eight?

  • Nice belt
#259057Post 7 of 50

Re: Joke time again...

Great!!! :WinkNSmi: :mrgreen: :Naughty:

#259104Post 8 of 50

Re: Joke time again...

A termite walks into a bar and asks, "Is the bartender here?"....

#259243Post 9 of 50

Re: Joke time again...

[quote=remy";p="50508]What did the Zero say to the Eight?

  • Nice belt[/quote]

o-m-g :mrgreen:

ok [you], check another one :

One day a teacher had a taste test with her students. She picked a little boy to do the first test. She blindfolded him, put a Hershey kiss in his mouth and asked, "Do you know what it is?" "No, I don't," said the little boy. "Okay, I'll give you a clue. It's the thing your daddy wants from your Mom before he goes to work. Suddenly, a little girl at the back of the room yelled, "Spit it out! It's a piece of ass!"

#259256Post 10 of 50

Re: Joke time again...

What is a difference between 10 gooses(animal) and 3 blonds? 7

What has 4 legs and one arm? Happy pit bull.

Name? Abu Dalah Sarafi. Sex? Four times a week. No, no, no..... male or female? Male, female...... sometimes camel.......

thats all folks, at least for now.

2 DigitalReason: dont know wher did u find me, orif this one was for me, but anyway, its good. :wink:

#259422Post 11 of 50

Re: Joke time again...

Wait, I don't get it. Why did you name me here?

[quote=DigitalReason";p="50715][quote=remy";p="50508]What did the Zero say to the Eight?

  • Nice belt[/quote]

o-m-g :mrgreen:

ok [you], check another one :

One day a teacher had a taste test with her students. She picked a little boy to do the first test. She blindfolded him, put a Hershey kiss in his mouth and asked, "Do you know what it is?" "No, I don't," said the little boy. "Okay, I'll give you a clue. It's the thing your daddy wants from your Mom before he goes to work. Suddenly, a little girl at the back of the room yelled, "Spit it out! It's a piece of ass!"[/quote]

#259423Post 12 of 50

Re: Joke time again...

[quote=DigitalReason";p="50715][quote=remy";p="50508]What did the Zero say to the Eight?

  • Nice belt[/quote]

o-m-g :mrgreen:

ok [you], check another one :

One day a teacher had a taste test with her students. She picked a little boy to do the first test. She blindfolded him, put a Hershey kiss in his mouth and asked, "Do you know what it is?" "No, I don't," said the little boy. "Okay, I'll give you a clue. It's the thing your daddy wants from your Mom before he goes to work. Suddenly, a little girl at the back of the room yelled, "Spit it out! It's a piece of ass!"[/quote]

:unsure: :unsure:

I am totally lost, all these references to me. Why? How? Who? and most of all What?

#259425Post 13 of 50

Re: Joke time again...

Did somebody called me? :Naughty:

#259467Post 14 of 50

Re: Joke time again...

What do you call cheese that's not yours?

-Nacho cheese

What do you call cheese that's not yours in da hood?

-Nacho cheese mothafucka'!!

#259473Post 15 of 50

Digital Reason - you're scaring me. How do you know my wife's a teacher? Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiirrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrdddddddddddddddddddd.

#262730Post 16 of 50

Re: Joke time again...

[b][size=6]KNOCK KNOCK[/size][/b]

#262789Post 17 of 50

some great one's here, cheers for making my day

#262851Post 18 of 50

Re: Joke time again...

What's better than winning a gold medal at the special olympics?

Not being retarded!

#262888Post 19 of 50

Re: Joke time again...

why do people keep mentioning octeight?????

is there something im missing??

#262894Post 20 of 50

Re: Joke time again...

how do you make a polish sausage?

...from a retarded pig.

#262973Post 21 of 50

Re: Joke time again...

Bush begins his speech to open the Olympic Games: He looks at his paper and says:

  • Ooooo! Ooooo! Ooooo! Ooooo! Ooooo! An aid comes over and whispers:
  • Mr. President, these are the Olympic rings... Your speech is below.
#263717Post 22 of 50

Re: Joke time again...

i was on alunch today with some friends and heard those jokes. Why do the black men have big dicks? Becouse the white men had toys when they were little.

What is white, plastic and kids are afraid of it? Michael Jackson

what does a black man doing under a ton of sand? who gives a shit.

and the last one,

A little rabbit got drunk and fell in a river. A bear and a fox came along, and tried to call him out: "come on, rabbit, come out, you will drown" Rabbit says: "fuck off, you land animals!"
sick!

just want to say, i apologise if i offended someone with those jokes, i dont have anything against black people, Michael or some little rabbits.

lp

#263723Post 23 of 50

Re: Joke time again...

Great!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

#263730Post 24 of 50

Re: Joke time again...

How do you tell your sister is on the blob?

Your dad?s dick tastes like shit.

Wrong on sooo many levels, love it.

#263731Post 25 of 50

Re: Joke time again...

[quote=gage188";p="51668]What's better than winning a gold medal at the special olympics?

Not being retarded![/quote]

Am I going straight to hell for laughing at this? :twisted:

#263735Post 26 of 50

What do you tell a girl with two black eyes?

....nothing, you already told her twice.

ba doom boom

#263752Post 27 of 50

Re: Joke time again...

A poor man and woman sat down in their living room and the man said, ''I'm going down to the pub for a bit, so put your coat on.''

The woman replied, ''Oh, sweetie, why? Are you taking me with you?''

The man replied, ''No, I'm turning the heat off.''

:lol:

#264024Post 28 of 50

Re: Joke time again...

[quote=Morgan";p="52658]How do you tell your sister is on the blob?

Your dad?s dick tastes like shit.

Wrong on sooo many levels, love it.[/quote]

Here's another horribly wrong one ...

How can you make your little sister cry twice?

-Wipe your bloody dick on her teddy bear after your finished with her.

#264043Post 29 of 50

Re: Joke time again...

Ha Ha!

#264070Post 30 of 50

IRC Humor

t0rbad> so there i was in this hallway right BlackAdder> i believe i speak for all of us when i say... BlackAdder> WRONG BTICH BlackAdder> IM SICK OF YOU BlackAdder> AND YOUR LAME STORIES BlackAdder> NOBODY HERE THINKS YOURE FUNNY BlackAdder> NOBODY HERE WANTS TO HEAR YOUR STORIES BlackAdder> IN FACT BlackAdder> IF YOU DIED RIGHT NOW BlackAdder> I DON"T THINK NOBODY WOULD CARE BlackAdder> SO WHAT DO YOU SAY TO THAT FAG *** t0rbad sets mode: +b BlackAdder*!@.* *** BlackAdder has been kicked my t0rbad ( ) t0rbad> so there i was in this hallway right CRCError> right heartless> Right. r3v> right

<tatclass> YOU ALL SUCK DICK <tatclass> er. <tatclass> hi. <andy\code> A common typo. <tatclass> the keys are like right next to each other.

<Guo_Si> Hey, you know what sucks? <TheXPhial> vaccuums <Guo_Si> Hey, you know what sucks in a metaphorical sense? <TheXPhial> black holes <Guo_Si> Hey, you know what just isn't cool? <TheXPhial> lava?

<mage> what should I give sister for unzipping? <Kevyn> Um. Ten bucks? <mage> no I mean like, WinZip?

<NES> lol <NES> I download something from Napster <NES> And the same guy I downloaded it from starts downloading it from me when I'm done <NES> I message him and say "What are you doing? I just got that from you" <NES> "getting my song back fucker"

docsigma2000: jesus christ man docsigma2000: my son is sooooooo dead c8info: Why? docsigma2000: hes been looking at internet web sites in fucking EUROPE docsigma2000: HE IS SURFING LONG DISTANCE docsigma2000: our fucking phone bill is gonna be nuts c8info: Ooh, this is bad. Surfing long distance adds an extra $69.99 to your bill per hour. docsigma2000: ...!!!!!! FUCK FUCK FUCK docsigma2000: is there some plan we can sign up for??? docsigma2000: cuz theres some cool stuff in europe, but i dun wanna pauy that much c8info: Sorry, no. There is no plan. you'll have to live with it. docsigma2000: o well, i ccan live without europe intenet sites. docsigma2000: but till i figure out how to block it hes sooooo dead c8info: By the way, I'm from Europe, your chatting long distance. ** docsigma2000 has quit (Connection reset by peer)

<wolf> 1. Save every Free Credit Card Offer you get, Put it in pile A <wolf> 2. Save every Free Coupon You get, put that in pile B <wolf> 3. Now open the credit card mail from pile A and find the Business Reply Mail Envelope. <wolf> 4. Take the coupons from pile B and stuff them in the envelope you hold in your hand. <wolf> 5. Drop the stuffed to the brim envelopes in your mail and walk away whistling. <wolf> I have now received two phone calls from the credit card companies telling me that they received a stuffed envelope with coupons rather then my application. They informed me that it they are not pleased that they footed the bill for the crap I sent them. I reply with "It says Business Reply Mail" I'm suggesting coupons to you to ensure that your business is more successful. They promptly hang up on me. <wolf> Now, I did this for about a month before it got boring, so I got an added idea! I added exactly 33 cents worth of pennies to the envelope so they paid EXTRA due to the weight. I got a call informing me about the money, I said it was a mistake and I demanded my change back. After yelling at the clerk and then to the supervisor they agreed to my demands and cut me a check for the money. I hold in my hand at this very moment a check from GTE Visa for exactly 33 cents.

#264087Post 31 of 50

Re: Joke time again...

[quote=Morgan";p="52658]How do you tell your sister is on the blob?

Your dad?s dick tastes like shit.

Wrong on sooo many levels, love it.[/quote]

TOO TRUE :RockOn:

LOL :lol:

#264121Post 32 of 50

Keep em Coming!!

#264135Post 33 of 50

Re: Joke time again...

What do you get when you cross a Paedo and a Pirate?

Arrrrrr Kelly

[credit to Popbitch]

#264162Post 34 of 50

[quote=Civic_Zen";p="53048] <wolf> 1. Save every Free Credit Card Offer you get, Put it in pile A <wolf> 2. Save every Free Coupon You get, put that in pile B <wolf> 3. Now open the credit card mail from pile A and find the Business Reply Mail Envelope. <wolf> 4. Take the coupons from pile B and stuff them in the envelope you hold in your hand. <wolf> 5. Drop the stuffed to the brim envelopes in your mail and walk away whistling. <wolf> I have now received two phone calls from the credit card companies telling me that they received a stuffed envelope with coupons rather then my application. They informed me that it they are not pleased that they footed the bill for the crap I sent them. I reply with "It says Business Reply Mail" I'm suggesting coupons to you to ensure that your business is more successful. They promptly hang up on me. <wolf> Now, I did this for about a month before it got boring, so I got an added idea! I added exactly 33 cents worth of pennies to the envelope so they paid EXTRA due to the weight. I got a call informing me about the money, I said it was a mistake and I demanded my change back. After yelling at the clerk and then to the supervisor they agreed to my demands and cut me a check for the money. I hold in my hand at this very moment a check from GTE Visa for exactly 33 cents.[/quote] :ROFLMAO: :ROFLMAO: :ROFLMAO: Oh man, I'm so doing this shit! I'll put random shit in each envelope I get... potato chips, grass, leaves, toilet paper, cereal box UPCs, etc. You name it, this shit is going to make me excited every time I get spam now! giggity giggity giggity

#264378Post 35 of 50

[quote=remy";p="50967] What do you call cheese that's not yours?

-Nacho cheese

What do you call cheese that's not yours in da hood?

-Nacho cheese mothafucka'!! [/quote]

God I've been laughing for 5 minutes now!!!

Hilarious!

#264379Post 36 of 50

Maybe you heard this one before but...

What do you get when you cross a bulldog and a shitzu?

. . . . . .

Bullshit

#264381Post 37 of 50

what did the barn say to the farmer?

Hay!

#264394Post 38 of 50

Re: Joke time again...

^^ :roll:

#264397Post 39 of 50

you cant purchase jokes like that, mike man. they're priceless.

#264398Post 40 of 50

^^ youre right there kid, i wouldnt give the steam off my shit to hear them.

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