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Forums / General Yakkity Yak

Better than fmylife

87 durable postsStarted 2009-04-25Latest 2010-01-13
#1262209Post 41 of 87

Re: Better than fmylife

quote: dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.[/quote]quote: It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular (610): Wrong number and your a loser [/quote]

:lol:

#1262218Post 42 of 87

Re: Better than fmylife

quote: I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila. [/quote]

:lol:

#1262270Post 43 of 87

Re: Better than fmylife

:lol:

#1262388Post 44 of 87

Re: Better than fmylife

(513): i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later

#1262389Post 45 of 87

Re: Better than fmylife

(480): so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.

#1262391Post 46 of 87

Re: Better than fmylife

^that can't be real :lol:

#1262392Post 47 of 87

Re: Better than fmylife

(516): Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.

#1262394Post 48 of 87

Re: Better than fmylife

^hahahaha, that's awesome!

#1262396Post 49 of 87

Re: Better than fmylife

this may be my favorite so far...

(734): I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka (231): the cocktail of hope

#1262414Post 50 of 87

Re: Better than fmylife

i heard a great statement the other day... not on that site, but it made me laugh my ass off anyway.

"she has a face like a bucket of smashed crabs"

XD

#1263461Post 51 of 87

Re: Better than fmylife

(949): Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that

#1263464Post 52 of 87

Re: Better than fmylife

(978): You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.

#1263518Post 53 of 87

Re: Better than fmylife

(905): Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina.. (1-905): With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.

#1263521Post 54 of 87

Re: Better than fmylife

QUOTE=Bender420;781461: You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.[/QUOTE]

:Laugh:

#1263581Post 55 of 87

Re: Better than fmylife

quote=Bender420;781521: Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina.. (1-905): With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.[/quote]

:roflmao:

#1263592Post 56 of 87

Re: Better than fmylife

^^^ :CrackUp::CrackUp::CrackUp::CrackUp::CrackUp:

#1263598Post 57 of 87

Re: Better than fmylife

Oh that's awesome!!! :lol:

#1263763Post 58 of 87

Re: Better than fmylife

(971): I have two black x marks on my hands. (503): Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here' (971): damnit I wish I could remember that.

#1263765Post 59 of 87

Re: Better than fmylife

(970): I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar. (303): Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.

#1263795Post 60 of 87

Re: Better than fmylife

looks like im about 3 mnths late to this thread! noice!

(906): didnt we say no more talking to eachother (906): it will help you get over me i promise (414): im horny (906): ok i will unlock the door

and

(903): I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem. (214): kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night. (903): I'll be there in 10

#1264258Post 61 of 87

Re: Better than fmylife

good idea:

QUOTE: when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on[/QUOTE]

#1264314Post 62 of 87

Re: Better than fmylife

(613): I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"

(716): Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.

#1264882Post 63 of 87

Re: Better than fmylife

quote: Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.[/quote]

quote: two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup (1-215): ill bring the camera dont start without me[/quote]

:lol:

#1264893Post 64 of 87

Re: Better than fmylife

I love TFLN so much I even bought the iPhone app they brought out recently, sometimes when I´m bored I just love firing it up and just read random stuff, always cracks me up.

#1264894Post 65 of 87

Re: Better than fmylife

"woke up and found a bloody mary in a water bottle in my purse. I love how drunk me takes care of sober me"

hahahahah... I have made vodka OJ's the night before and left them in the fridge for the morning...

#1264903Post 66 of 87

Re: Better than fmylife

QUOTE: He played with my vagina like it was a turntable[/QUOTE]

:RockOn:

#1270255Post 67 of 87

Re: Better than fmylife

QUOTE: doooooooo herrrrrrrrr (504): I'm out of practice. be my yoda (314): put your penis in her you must.[/QUOTE]

lmao

#1270782Post 68 of 87

Re: Better than fmylife

(330): no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce

#1270784Post 69 of 87

Re: Better than fmylife

(202): She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week (1-202): stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant

:lol:

#1270785Post 70 of 87

Re: Better than fmylife

(516): the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal

#1270786Post 71 of 87

Re: Better than fmylife

(978): im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;) (1-978): this is your brother :roflmao:

#1270788Post 72 of 87

Re: Better than fmylife

(702): was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars

(773): you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"

(850): the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you... (1-850): that makes sense.

(630): The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..

(801): I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high

#1270793Post 73 of 87

Re: Better than fmylife

(317): Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up? (812): You're dead to me.

(404): hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer?? (1-404): no.

#1270800Post 74 of 87

Re: Better than fmylife

[QUOTE=Dhar_2;786670] (404): hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer?? (1-404): no.[/QUOTE]

This one. :lol:

#1290258Post 75 of 87

Re: Better than fmylife

(817): Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation

#1290272Post 76 of 87

Re: Better than fmylife

[URL="http://textsfromlastnight.com/areacode/267"]COLOR=white[/COLOR][/URL][COLOR=white]: [/COLOR][URL="http://textsfromlastnight.com/view/54335"][COLOR=white]You discussed the Arab[/COLOR][/URL][COLOR=white]/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian. [/COLOR] [URL="http://textsfromlastnight.com/areacode/615"]COLOR=white[/COLOR][/URL][COLOR=white]: [/COLOR][URL="http://textsfromlastnight.com/view/54375"][COLOR=white]i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.[/COLOR][/URL][COLOR=white] [/COLOR] [COLOR=white] [/COLOR] [URL="http://textsfromlastnight.com/areacode/612"]COLOR=white[/COLOR][/URL][COLOR=white]: [/COLOR][URL="http://textsfromlastnight.com/view/54208"][COLOR=white]I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome![/COLOR][/URL]

#1303814Post 77 of 87

Re: Better than fmylife

URL="http://www.textsfromlastnight.com/areacode/414"[/URL]: [URL="http://www.textsfromlastnight.com/view/55669"]i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome[/URL]

URL="http://www.textsfromlastnight.com/areacode/843"[/URL]: [URL="http://www.textsfromlastnight.com/view/55685"]just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it[/URL]

URL="http://www.textsfromlastnight.com/areacode/239"[/URL]: [URL="http://www.textsfromlastnight.com/view/55677"]Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.[/URL]

#1319873Post 78 of 87

Re: Better than fmylife

[URL="http://www.textsfromlastnight.com/areacode/812"][/URL][quote] URL="http://www.textsfromlastnight.com/areacode/812"[/URL]: [URL="http://www.textsfromlastnight.com/view/56985"]i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.[/URL] [/quote]

Tru dat.

#1320128Post 79 of 87

Re: Better than fmylife

Check this one out, it's f*ckign hilarious :D

[url]http://forum.bodybuilding.com/showthread.php?t=120921191[/url]

#1320266Post 80 of 87

Re: Better than fmylife

^ wtf are pee bottles?

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