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[ms] · Est. May 2002

Music madethis place,we just kept itgoing...

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Forums / General Yakkity Yak

Ok... I give up

12 durable postsStarted 2008-04-17Latest 2008-04-17
#53329Post 1 of 12

just fuck me like a whore:

[QUOTE]OK - I have been trying to meet a "nice" guy for quite a while now, using both traditional methods (set-ups through friends, the bar scene, work, etc.) and non-traditional (i.e., internet dating), and have had abysmal results. By "nice", I don't mean a bible-thumping, republican, up-tight putz who could make a diamond out of a lump of coal planted firmly up his a-hole. I mean a guy who is capable of having a decent conversation that doesn't center around the size of his cock; who is aware of the world around him; who is respectful of people and animals; who doesn't clip his fucking fingernails on the train; who makes me laugh; who parties like a rock star when he has the time; and who can fuck me like a champ after checking his hang-ups at the door. Someone with a brain. A sense of humor. A job. I'm a busy, successful, attractive woman with a professional degree and a great circle of friends. I have a life. What I don't have, however, is a lot of time to wade through a bunch of bullshit. If you just want to get laid, fine; just say that up front so I can move on. Don't make me waste my time exchanging e-mails for days, then stop writing after I don't want to answer the "money" questions after knowing you for 3.5 hours, like 1) what's the craziest sex you've ever had? 2) how often do you masturbate? 3) do you have a nice, clean ass, with clean ass odor? (I couldn't make that up) and 4) do you like oral? (DUH??!!?? WHO DOESN'T??) Apparently, no matter how pretty, sexy, funny, smart, successful, sweet, caring, interesting etc. I am, it all boils down to one thing: fucking. Fine. I give up. You want to fuck? I can fuck.

WANTED: a guy to pull out his big, thick cock within five seconds of our first meeting. I want to kneel at your feet and worship you (and your organ) like a greek god. I will take your throbbing love-stick in my mouth and service you like a pro. I will lick the head of your penis, concentrating on the sensitive spot underneath the head, where it meets the shaft. I will then take you fully into my mouth, and move my head all the way down, swallowing the entire length. When you're all the way in and I'm fighting not to gag, I will move all the way back to the tip, then repeat. I will continue, up and down, until I feel that you're about to cum; then I'll stop, lick my way down to your balls, and take take them both in my mouth while stroking your cock with my hand. I will then move around to your back, spread the cheeks of your ass and rim your asshole with my tongue while stroking your cock. I'll shove a finger or two up there, if you like.

Once you're good and hard, I'll let you eat my pussy for a while, preferably until I cum two or three times. A little rimming of your own would be nice. Attention can be paid to my breasts (which are D-cups, by the way), or I can pinch my nipples myself. Once my juices are flowing, you can proceed to the fucking. Shove your cock in me, hard, all the way in. The harder the better, and if you're hung like a horse, my prayers have been answered. Keep going. Don't worry about me; I will make myself cum again on my own, either with old-fashioned diddling or my trusty vibrator. My ass needs attention, too, don't forget-I'm a three-input kinda girl! After you've made me cum fucking me the old-fashioned way, slowly (and gently, please!) push your huge dick up my ass. Use lots of astro-glide. I will be a little hesitant at first, but then the yummy pleasure-mixed-with-pain will start to kick in, and I'll get really into it. I'll start shoving my ass back against your cock as hard as I can, until I explode with the hardest orgasm yet. At this point, if you feel like getting your freak on, we can pop in a porno and emulate whatever is happening on the screen. Or, I can pull out my cache of sex toys. You can have me straddle an enormous uber-cock and work as much of it into my vagina as I can take, while you get in on the action by fucking me up the ass. You want a threesome? No problem. I'll invite one of my crazy girlfriends over, and you can watch me eat her out while you masturbate. Or, she can sit on my face while you fuck me. Another option is you banging me from behind while I lick her pussy. The possibilities are endless, really.

Once that's over, feel free to pull out and cum on my ass / tits / face / mouth / whatever.

See, I do have what you want! Don't tell ME law school was all for naught. . . [/QUOTE]

[URL]http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/nyc/589072628.html[/URL]

:shock:

#1004994Post 2 of 12

Re: Ok... I give up

when keeping it real goes wrong

#1004997Post 3 of 12

Re: Ok... I give up

classy dame :roflmao:

#1004998Post 4 of 12

Re: Ok... I give up

thats not hte law school i know... jesus

#1004999Post 5 of 12

Re: Ok... I give up

lmao.. women vs. men, the ongoing battle.

they think they have the wittiest posts on the internet...

Wanted: A normal woman, doesnt have to be fine as fuck, a girl that takes care of her body, a nice cut on the abs.. i'm not an overweight fat fuck either, im skinny..if im attracted to you, and there is chemistry, God help me. :) just not full of "the crazy" please im past playing childish duck duck goose .. I have enough social intellect I can tell women who are off their rocker. .. Spare me the first date foo foo, bullshit.. Id like a girl who admires my passion for music and art, but would get down in a wherehouse to some fuckin screaming techno. my idea of a first date, maybe a nice restaurant (sue me, i like to eat) some nice sushi from this little bar down the street from me. where we can talk about life, whatever.. i go deep like jim rivers, speak your mind.. social issues, psychology, the latest album youve picked up.. you can even rant.. if I love you, I can stand you. A girl that has some common sense, a decent job with some ambition.. after a hard days work, would watch the office with me and spark a bowl. work hard, play harder, enjoys afterhours. passionate about life, and sometimes want to fuck like a dirty ape (minus throwing poo) has their own life, wont abandon their friends and wont judge mine. can play little girly foo foo, go out get some culture, i dont need to drag her around just to show off..

I dont need two paragraphs of a porn story to satisfy me, I can sure as hell satisfy her.. im like the energizer bunny bitch!

#1005002Post 6 of 12

Re: Ok... I give up

Wow american women is nice nice. Where I can hit? :Rasta Ba::LoveYou:

#1005016Post 7 of 12

Re: Ok... I give up

Driving Instructor: In America, a woman can choose who she has sex with. Borat: WHAAAAAAT?

#1005053Post 8 of 12

Re: Ok... I give up

:HitIt:

where do i sign up??? :lol:

#1005276Post 9 of 12

Re: Ok... I give up

[quote=|Thrax|;593241]lmao.. women vs. men, the ongoing battle.

they think they have the wittiest posts on the internet...

Wanted: A normal woman, doesnt have to be fine as fuck, a girl that takes care of her body, a nice cut on the abs.. i'm not an overweight fat fuck either, im skinny..if im attracted to you, and there is chemistry, God help me. :) just not full of "the crazy" please im past playing childish duck duck goose .. I have enough social intellect I can tell women who are off their rocker. .. Spare me the first date foo foo, bullshit.. Id like a girl who admires my passion for music and art, but would get down in a wherehouse to some fuckin screaming techno. my idea of a first date, maybe a nice restaurant (sue me, i like to eat) some nice sushi from this little bar down the street from me. where we can talk about life, whatever.. i go deep like jim rivers, speak your mind.. social issues, psychology, the latest album youve picked up.. you can even rant.. if I love you, I can stand you. A girl that has some common sense, a decent job with some ambition.. after a hard days work, would watch the office with me and spark a bowl. work hard, play harder, enjoys afterhours. passionate about life, and sometimes want to fuck like a dirty ape (minus throwing poo) has their own life, wont abandon their friends and wont judge mine. can play little girly foo foo, go out get some culture, i dont need to drag her around just to show off..

I dont need two paragraphs of a porn story to satisfy me, I can sure as hell satisfy her.. im like the energizer bunny bitch![/quote]

so you did play childish duck duck goose in the past?

#1005320Post 10 of 12

Re: Ok... I give up

No, but women seem to thrive on mindgames.

I'd rather not.

#1005331Post 11 of 12

Re: Ok... I give up

I don't believe a woman actually wrote that.

#1005394Post 12 of 12

Re: Ok... I give up

we could hook her up with the crazy guy from LA

[URL]http://www.mercuryserver.com/forums/showthread.php?t=53662[/URL]

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