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Forums / General Yakkity Yak

Wide Stance

19 durable postsStarted 2007-09-14Latest 2007-09-17
#46061Post 1 of 19

This might be politics, but I think it has more to do with pooping technique, so I'm including it here. Mods, obviously feel free to move it if you think it's appropriate

I was talking with someone here at my office about the whole Larry Craig thing, and it led me to conduct a little experiment. The opportunity presented itself to have a seat in our restroom, which has stalls that seem to me to be pretty standard for public restrooms. I attempted to replicate a wide enough stance that I could touch the foot of the person in the next stall (there was no one actually in there at the time, for what it's worth).

Two things became immediately apparent:

  1. Larry Craig must be a mountain of a man -- I had trouble even getting my foot under the next stall without really stretching, let alone all the way over to where the other dude's foot would be.
  2. He must have either removed his pants, or he was wearing MC Hammer-style parachute pants. No matter how long your legs are, you're only able to spread them as wide as your waistband will allow.

Anyway, as if there was any serious question as to whether his "I have a wide stance" explanation held any water, my investigation reveals that it's bullshit.

You're welcome.

:D

#914928Post 2 of 19

Re: Wide Stance

Your conclusions, because they are based on impirical data, are infallible.

"2. He must have either removed his pants, or he was wearing MC Hammer-style parachute pants. No matter how long your legs are, you're only able to spread them as wide as your waistband will allow."

In response to the above statement: I doubt he was wearing MC Hammer pants, which leads me to conclude the obvious. He was not sitting on the toilet with his pants down in order to take a shit, but, he was sitting on the toilet with his pants in their upright position trying to attract the attention of the man next to him. And I agree with you, this seems to me to be all the evidence we need to conclude that the wide stance claim is complete b.s. Where to go from here I do not know.

Excellent post btw. :p

#914946Post 3 of 19

Re: Wide Stance

What a shit thread :lol:

+1 for your experiment jimbo ;)

#914958Post 4 of 19

Re: Wide Stance

perhaps if you had to take a major major shit, you'd have spread a little wider? the body will never know its limits unless put in a situation that requires it to be tested to that length. probably wouldn't recommend this during business hours...heh

#914965Post 5 of 19

Re: Wide Stance

it's an interesting test! But maybe the restrooms at your workplace don't conform to typical standards in terms of size...

...perhaps you may want to try this out again at an airport restroom? :p Let us know how it goes!

#914968Post 6 of 19

Re: Wide Stance

^^:lol:

#914970Post 7 of 19

Re: Wide Stance

[quote=Miroslav;527729]it's an interesting test! But maybe the restrooms at your workplace don't conform to typical standards in terms of size...

...perhaps you may want to try this out again at an airport restroom? :p Let us know how it goes![/quote]I feel compelled to try that out when I pick Erzina up at the airport tomorrow :WinkNSmi:

#914971Post 8 of 19

Re: Wide Stance

[quote=88Mariner;527722]perhaps if you had to take a major major shit, you'd have spread a little wider? the body will never know its limits unless put in a situation that requires it to be tested to that length. probably wouldn't recommend this during business hours...heh[/quote]

I never thought of that. Maybe he was under intense strain taking a "major major shit" and at some point during all that his legs automatically thrust themselves to the side to create the "wide stance". And now he is simply too embarassed to fess up to the truth.

What happened in that bathroom may never be known.

#915023Post 9 of 19

Re: Wide Stance

I love how the forum software picks up Pete Tong (see below... all the way to the bottom now) as being a similar thread to this one.

Maybe he's an expert exponent of the wide stance cubicle style?

#915082Post 10 of 19

Re: Wide Stance

[IMG]http://www.encyclopediadramatica.com/images/1/1d/LarryCraig.jpg[/IMG] lolcraig, imo

#915083Post 11 of 19

Re: Wide Stance

My legs are spread right now.

#918085Post 12 of 19

Re: Wide Stance

[quote=KinKyJ;527734]I feel compelled to try that out when I pick Erzina up at the airport tomorrow :WinkNSmi:[/quote]Myth busted

#918132Post 13 of 19

Re: Wide Stance

I think it is hysterical that a United States Senator is in such an awkward predicament that he feels that publicly discussing his shitting technique is his best available option.

#918133Post 14 of 19

Re: Wide Stance

[QUOTE=toasty;528075]I think it is hysterical that a United States Senator is in such an awkward predicament that he feels that publicly discussing his shitting technique is his best available option.[/QUOTE] Uh... don't they all resort to this? Read your history. ;)

#918148Post 15 of 19

Re: Wide Stance

[quote=KinKyJ;528017]Myth busted[/quote]

haha...good thing you didn't get busted too! :)

[quote=toasty;528075]I think it is hysterical that a United States Senator is in such an awkward predicament that he feels that publicly discussing his shitting technique is his best available option.[/quote]

Well, that's just the thing...the average human being, recognizing that even a pre schooler could see through the ridiculous lies at this point, would be MORTIFIED by all of this and would have resigned, retreated from public, left it at that...

But NOOO not Craig! Craig is not the average human with a sense of shame!...he's a U.S. Senator! :lol: nuff said!

#918174Post 16 of 19

Re: Wide Stance

[QUOTE=Miroslav;528095]Well, that's just the thing...the average human being, recognizing that even a pre schooler could see through the ridiculous lies at this point, would be MORTIFIED by all of this and would have resigned, retreated from public, left it at that...

But NOOO not Craig! Craig is not the average human with a sense of shame!...he's a U.S. Senator! :lol: nuff said![/QUOTE]You do understand that the average human being is a retard right?

#918182Post 17 of 19

Re: Wide Stance

[quote=beanzncheez;528124]You do understand that the average human being is a retard right?[/quote]

good point...I'm just thinking that even the retard would have more dignity than Craig and would have stopped making up excuses by now

#918224Post 18 of 19

Re: Wide Stance

The retard would still be in the stall, playing with the toilet paper roll.

#918292Post 19 of 19

Re: Wide Stance

:CrackUp:

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