My good friend Peter just messaged me a few minutes ago to tell me his common law wife Sue Ellen is leaving him. He said he had no idea it was coming, she just came home from work 3 days ago and said "I don't see us having a future together" and then she took a few things and left. She didn't want to work on it or really discuss it and just left (she was crying when she left). He hasn't heard from her since.

I feel absolutely awful as he loved her so much.....he hasn't been able to eat or sleep since she left :(

My gut tells me she found someone else...but probably cause I was cheated on when I lived with my ex, so maybe I am jumping to conclusions....what are your thoughts?

Also, when it comes to common law and you own a house what happens? Is it like a divorce and they have to split the assets even though it was his house to begin with (only in his name as well)

Any advice would be greatly appreciated

Re: Advice: What do you think?

sounds like she cheated.

tough break for your friend. Time is the only healer or a good lap dance at the local tittie bar.

Re: Advice: What do you think?

[quote=DancingQueen;389319] Also, when it comes to common law and you own a house what happens? Is it like a divorce and they have to split the assets even though it was his house to begin with (only in his name as well)

Any advice would be greatly appreciated[/quote]

if it is in the US, what state?

Re: Advice: What do you think?

no it is here in Canada....North Bay, Ontario

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first he needs a weekend of total brutal debauchery ... i dont think he needs to worry about the house if its only his name on the papers ..... as for her .. who knows you girls act funny from time to time .. no gain in losing his mind thinking what was the reason for her leaving .. he must be feeling shitty .. take him out to a good partey !!!

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I would take him out, but North Bay is about 10-12hrs away from where I live...some of his buddies that live there with him are coming over on the weekend to help him keep his mind off things

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if she was crying when she left, maybe it was something else. never jump to conclusions, but the fact that she hasn't given him the time to even explain is pretty rude. maybe she caught herpes.

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what is "common law"?

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Hmm thats abit strange. If he didnt see it coming then maybe she did cheat and felt really guilty. I mean you know when your partner is acting off with you anyway.

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cheated 100%, any other reason she would tell

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[quote=KinKyJ;389342]what is "common law"?[/quote]

It's when you live together for 6months or more as a couple. You are then deemed common law. Its a legal unofficial marriage

Re: Advice: What do you think?

[quote=KinKyJ;389342]what is "common law"?[/quote]

the 50% of everything rule applies even without the marriage certificate.

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6 months? is that what it is in canada? thats short as shit.

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[quote=Garrick;389366]6 months? is that what it is in canada? thats short as shit.[/quote]

no wonder she left

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[quote=DancingQueen;389361]It's when you live together for 6months or more as a couple. You are then deemed common law. Its a legal unofficial marriage[/quote]

I thought it was 2 years living together.

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[quote=chanty;389422]I thought it was 2 years living together.[/quote]

Just checked wikipedia and it's 3 years in Ontario.

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[quote=Huggie Smiles;389364]the 50% of everything rule applies even without the marriage certificate.[/quote]

copious amounts of bull dung.

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^ | its a good rule when you've been living with someone for 10 years, are in all essense married, and that person unexpectedly dies. keeps the widdow from having to go through 7 circles of hell with probate law.

on the other hand...it can be total bs for couples who had no intent of ever owning 50% of the others stuff. gotta write that shit down somewhere and keep it clear if you are living together long term, but arent married.

moral of the story...talk to your lawyer.

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you crazy canucks and your common law marriage. :Wacko: If you were in the states, I could have actually given you a reasonably good answer on the whole house thing. Oh well.

As someone else said, though, the house should probably be the least of his worries right now. Good to hear he has some buddies coming over to help him take his mind off of things.

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famous common law marriage. gary shandling

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Wow! 6 month makes my head spin! In New Zealand It's called Defacto - and that's a facto. But it's 2 years of living in a relationship and you can try and prove it without living together - but that's the clearest way.

How's your friend doing now - has he heard from her?

I feel sorry for her. I cheated on my girlfriend once and it was the worst thing I've ever done. It was a one time thing - not a whole relationship mind you. So I can only imagine how a whole relationship would have felt! So much guillt. So much hurt.

Bad Karma.

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[quote=chanty;389422]I thought it was 2 years living together.[/quote]

I was wrong, it's 1 yr..

"In [URL="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ontario"]Ontario[/URL], the Ontario Family Law Act specifically recognizes common law spouses in sec. 29 dealing with [URL="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spousal_support"]spousal support[/URL] issues; the requirements are living together for one year or having a child in common and having "cohabitated in a relationship of some permanence." The one-year must be continuous; however a breakup of a few days during the one-year period will not affect a person's status as common law [URL="http://www.common-law-separation-canada.com/"][1][/URL]. However, the part that deals with marital property excludes common law spouses as sec. 2 defines spouses as those who are married together or who entered into a [URL="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Annulment"]void or voidable marriage[/URL] in [URL="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Good_faith"]good faith[/URL]. Thus common law partners do not always evenly divide property in a breakup, and the courts have to look to concepts such as the constructive or resulting [URL="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Trust_law"]trust[/URL] to divide property in an [URL="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Equity"]equitable[/URL] manner between partners. Another difference that distinguishes common law spouses from married partners is that a common law partner can be compelled to testify against his or her partner in a court of law."

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[quote=chanty;389425]Just checked wikipedia and it's 3 years in Ontario.[/quote]

funny how wikipedia says 1 yr when I search it :what

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Immediately contact a lawyer, as far as someone willing to hurt ur friend like that, fuck that person ... u want to believe that there is some reason but that's usually just in the movies ... let him do what he does in the short run , he probably get over it just dont have him do something he regrets ... have him start working out a lot and work on things that he didnt have time for because of her ... he'll eventualy find someone better ...

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^^^ I was thinking he should contact a lawyer as well...I think I will tell him to do that on monday

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Well she finally called him last night at like 11pm to ask him how he was doing and what he had been up to since she left. He got all quiet and she said "well you will feel better later"

When he asked her why all she said was they were to different, and then she said she had to go.

grrrrr she makes me angry!

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^ My gut feeling is she has cheated, sorry to say

Same sort of thing happened to me last year, was with a girl for a few months, getting on great, I really liked her, then she just dumped me totally out of the blue. Couldn't really give me a reason either, despite my questioning. didn't eat or sleep well for a week, easily the worst I've ever felt.

Found out a few weeks later she was with someone new within a week of us splitting, after she had told me she wanted to 'be alone' for a while and that she wasn't a relationship person. She is still with this guy actually. Complete and utter bitch, totally changed my opinion of the whole dating scene.

BUT, I'm now with a great girl, having a laugh with her, she's gorgeous, I feel so much better that I'm with her than with bitch face!

Be there for your friend, but he'll probably feel a lot worse over the coming weeks before he fells better. And he should bear in mind that alcohol is a depressant, and never makes you feel better, no matter what anyone says.

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^^^ yeah i agree Greg. drinking would more likely than not make it worse for him. If she has cheated that fucken blows . It happened to me a few years ago as well. i did go to a local pub and drink alot. but i remember feeling worse and doubting myself. My mates bought me more and more beers but i went into this depressed state and thinking there was something wrong with me. Just take him out go see a movie or something. A comedy would be great. I really don't understand why people cheat. I mean if the love is not there anymore then just break up and move on. No need to cheat cause if the other person finds out that would make them feel alot worse. But time heals all wounds. if she has cheated then she will get whats coming. she will soon realise what she had.I feel for your friend, and i hope he does not have to part with any of his stuff. Tell him everyone here on ms wishes him all the best ;)

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One thing that I really belive in , if you do something bad to someone or hurt his/her feelings without a real reason , one day someône will do the same and even worse for you. What a bitch she is, taking her shit and leaving him without any reasons , I would piss on her from the balcony while she will be leaving the building . The coming weeks will be hard for him but be next to him and help him to move on forward and if it happens that she comes back tell him to never accept her back.

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[quote=DancingQueen;389541]funny how wikipedia says 1 yr when I search it :what[/quote]

Shoot....you're right, I just checked it again.;)