I am getting married in the fall and my fiance and I were talking about how we've changed since we met, ie, the things we do now that we never did before, thanks to the other persons influence. I was just curious in what things you guys have to do differently now than before. I am not complaining with this list, I don't really mind. I was just amazed at how civilized I have become since college....primarily thanks to her. And for that matter, what things do you refuse to compromise on?

Compromise.

1. I never imagined I would be folding my boxers before putting them away.
2. The whole making sure the seat is down.
3. Actually putting the forks, knives and spoons in the proper spot rahter than just heaving the whole lot into the silverware drawer.

No Compromise.

1. She wanted me to get rid of my PS2. No chance.
2. I insisnt on keeping ample reading material in the bathroom.
3. Saturday afternoons in the fall are for watching college football.

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Compromise

1. Cook for 2 people
2. Learn to eat other foods
3. Having to once and a while call my future mother-in-law

No Compromise

not really to much that I can think of here. To be honest, she drinks with me, goes fishing, plays golf with me, also lets me play golf without her and gives me no quilt trip. As for the ps2, she plays as much as I do. I am sure there are some things, but I can't think of any atm. Here is one, in my car, I play the music I want to play.

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excellent topic

Compromise:

1. Have now started helping with the dishes and housework more and more (I've already learnt the art of being a carpenter).
2. Limited EDM (mrs. cant stand it).
3. Watching more Indian movies (while I do watch a few that are making waves, I hate the majority of them)

No Compromise

1. Mercury (and its family of sites) has a solid priority in my life. I HAVE to give it the attention it deserves. That means even if I have come home after 13 hours of work and I need to get back on to the computer, I will.
2. I AM AN ELECTRONICS JUNKIE and I need my share of toys. So sooner or later I could potentially buy the most useless trinket known to man. We had our arguements over me getting the Treo 650...... I prevailed.
3. Can't think of anything else I'd want my way with :lol:

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Well I have been married for 11 years and together for almost 13 years, there has to be compromise sometime. I was once told that the music had to go, my response was that it was there before her and it will be there after she has gone. She compromised. Once that was settled it was smooth sailing. I don't vacuum either and she is fine by that. I do the laundry (I prefer it that way, she doesn't like to fold). She cooks, I clean (no problem there). We've done this throughout our marriage and it has worked.

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[quote=speciale]Compromise As for the ps2, she plays as much as I do. [/quote] I wish she liked video games...she can't stand them unfortunately. Its about the only thing we don't have in common, so I guess I can't complain.

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[u]Compromise:[/u]

1. Toilet seat down
2. Not being able to spend money like I used to (ie: Go to WMC for a week on my own)
3. Not as much [ms] time
4. Drinking Lactaid instead of regular milk since she's Lactose intolerant
5. Splitting music time while in the house.

[u]No Compromise:[/u]

1. Nothing

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[quote=Kamal] 2. Limited EDM (mrs. cant stand it). [/quote]

blasphemy!

[quote=threehills]

1. She wanted me to get rid of my PS2. [/quote]

blasphemy!

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Compromise

1. I live in a much, much cleaner environment, and I actively participate in keeping it that way. I also live in a home where the decor is no longer primarily steel, glass and abstract art. In a word, my house is "prettier."
2. I don't go out as much, and don't watch as much sports.
3. This hasn't happened yet, but I might be parting ways with my Jeep, which I love. She gets bad allergies, though, and doesn't like getting blown around, so that kinda eliminates the incentive to drive an open air vehicle.

No compromise

1. I am the Master of the Remote Control. This does not mean that we always watch what I want, but I just like having the thing in my hand.
2. The place may be prettier, but it is still contemporary.
3. Sports still has a time and place, and come Cardinals' season, I need my time at the ballpark.

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I dont think i could ever compromise on some of these things (limited edm, no videogames, cant party, etc. etc.) but the funny thing is ill probably dig this thread up when im like 28-30 and married then give it a disgruntled bump :p

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[U]Compromise:[/U]

1. Watch her shows like "American Idol"
2. Go to her family events and act like I'm having a good time.
3. Go to the beach and sit there for hours doing NOTHING with the occasional I love you pookey comments.

[U]No Comprimise[/U]

1. My comp. time (MS, Music, Porn, etc)
2. Going to see DJ's in various clubs
3. I agree with threehills about the ample reading material in the crapper.:lol:

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[quote=skahound]

[U]No Compromise:[/U]

1. Nothing[/quote] Ditto.

Ii sat here for awhile trying to think of things i compromise and things i won't compromise on with my wife, and i honestly could not come up with anything. We pretty much do everything together, we like the same stuff, or stuff i thought i liked, i realized i really don't give a shit about, and i gave it up by choice, not because i compromised for her, like sports for example:

i used to be a sports junkie in college, but i realized that i really just enjoyed hanging out and drinking beer with friends, and the actual sport was secondary. I think i watched a total of 2 NFL games this past year, and have watched ZERO college basketball, don't give a shit about the NHL, the only thing i still really love is Cardinals Baseball, and my wife loves that too. We both still go to the bar to hang out with friends over sporting events, but unless it's baseball, i probably couldn't even tell you the score if you asked. This coming from someone who could name players and stats in just about every league when i was in college (which, when you think about it, is pretty pathetic to be able to do.)

Buying records- half the time she's the one spotting the hot record and telling me to get it, so that's not a problem.

Music- we both like weirdo techno. In fact, her turntables were better than mine when she moved in, so i sold mine and kept hers.

Friends- i like all her friends, she likes all mine- the problem is finding the time to share with them.

one thing i hear from guys a lot is needing "Guys night out" which to me is not as fun as it used to be. My wife is my best friend, i always want her there having fun too. And husbands referring to their wives as "The ball and chain" or something like that- jesus fellas, grow the fuck up.

The only thing i can think of mildly compromising on is- we live in a predominantly italian neighborhood with loads of italian restaurants. There is one she loves to go to, that frankly i think sucks balls- the wine list is shit, the service is shit, but she loves it, so i go...BUT, they do have 1 excellent dish, the tortellini, and it's that good, so it's not really compromising because that's worth going.

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[quote=anonin]I dont think i could ever compromise on some of these things (limited edm, no videogames, cant party, etc. etc.) but the funny thing is ill probably dig this thread up when im like 28-30 and married then give it a disgruntled bump :p[/quote]

wait till you get married, at 19, you can't even figure out what you really want / dont want :lol: :lol:

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[QUOTE=Jenks]And husbands referring to their wives as "The ball and chain" or something like that- jesus fellas, grow the fuck up.[/QUOTE] Yeah, my 'ol lady hates that.

:lol:

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[quote=toasty]Compromise

1. I live in a much, much cleaner environment, and I actively participate in keeping it that way. I also live in a home where the decor is no longer primarily steel, glass and abstract art. In a word, my house is "prettier."[/quote]

lol

ya know, one of my friends came over once and said "Oh dude, a chick totally lives here now...you have pillows on the floor that people can't use."

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honestly I'd have to go with Jenks / Ska on no compromise - nothing. While I DO prevail on some of the things I really want, its a compromise as Funky Dredd stated, so it's a win win situation cause we both acknowledge each others preferences. There isn't somethign she absolutely detests that I'd do anyways.

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[quote=Jenks]...you have pillows on the floor that people can't use."[/quote]

:ROFLMAO:

runs to grab his camera and take a picture of his living room

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my girlfriend isnt a huge electronic music fan, so i cant always expect that she wants to go to the same clubs... so sometimes i miss out on djs i want to see, but i get to see a whole hell of a lot really, so i cant complain. she is also a vegetarian (although i dont eat much meat at all) so we rarely buy any meat (i could if i wanted to, she wouldnt care, so i guess its less a compromise as its entirely my choice to eat little meat.) we also take it in turns who gets to drink when we go out, just the smart, fair thing to do really. we split cleaning/chores evenly.

cant really think of anything i wouldnt be willing to compromise on

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^Jenks post.

I agree with you on the sports thing. I used to be a total sports junkie...but now its just college football. One game (Notre Dame) a week is all I watch. But its really about the game and not the beer and friends as I typically watch it alone and sober.

I also agree on the guys night out thing. I've never really felt that I've needed it, although the occasional poker night once every couple of months is nice. She's always welcome to play but doesn't really care for the game.

You sometimes hear peopls say "when you are dating you wish you were single, and when your single you wish you were dating". I think thats just what people say until they meet the right person. Personally, I couldn't imagine being happier.
Alright, enough of the sentimentalties before I...:Hurl:

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give me tech house or give me death!!!!!!111!!!1

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[quote=peloquin] we also take it in turns who gets to drink when we go out, just the smart, fair thing to do really. we split cleaning/chores evenly.

[/quote]

I don't know about that...when she drinks I get that "extra special" loving when we get home...:blow: :lol:

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i mean as far as designated driver goes, since our friends are usually trying to mooch rides off of us, one of us usually has to drive.

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One of the funniest things between me and my wife is everyone who asks "what's changed since you got married?"...well truthfully not too much, aside from wearing the ring (which was a compromise on my part). We're two very independent and stubborn people and there isn't much either of us have given up, aside from the "we're now planning for two" thing and I'm sure there'll be many more compromises to come when we start having children.

Compromises:

1. I put the seat down.
2. I call her to let her know what I'm up to.
3. I clean and do laundry, she cooks (and very well at that :) )
4. I listen to more music with vocals (which isn't too hard as an ole time nyc househead), but she'll listen to any vocals, even trancey stuff, which I've gotten better at dealing with. She on the other hand has learned to appreciate some good prog and even tech-house at times (ie. robots parties, many a sasha & digger night ;) )

No compromises: Quite a lot of these, but I'll mention that I still go out a lot (most often without her) and she still gets her electronic gadgets.

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[QUOTE=Jenks] The only thing i can think of mildly compromising on is- we live in a predominantly italian neighborhood with loads of italian restaurants. There is one she loves to go to, that frankly i think sucks balls- the wine list is shit, the service is shit, but she loves it, so i go...BUT, they do have 1 excellent dish, the tortellini, and it's that good, so it's not really compromising because that's worth going.[/QUOTE]

Is that Baldo, perchance? There could not be a better description of the place. Wine list is shit, atmosphere is shit, and they obviously haven't changed the decor or the clientele since the 60's -- but the tortellini is off the hizzo.

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[QUOTE]Compromise:

1. Toilet seat down
2. Not being able to spend money like I used to (ie: Go to WMC for a week on my own)
3. Not as much [ms] time
4. Drinking Lactaid instead of regular milk since she's Lactose intolerant
5. Splitting music time while in the house.

No Compromise:

1. Nothing[/QUOTE]

liar. you are so fucking own'd is not funny. type that again when she is around. :lol:

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[quote=rubyraks]and she still gets her electronic gadgets.[/quote]

dude I need to meet her..... I've never met [B]anyone[/B] of the fairer gender who was even remotely interested in electronics

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[quote=toasty]Is that Baldo, perchance? There could not be a better description of the place. Wine list is shit, atmosphere is shit, and they obviously haven't changed the decor or the clientele since the 60's -- but the tortellini is off the hizzo.[/quote]

No.

Canettos. Sounds like the same place. ;)

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[QUOTE=Kamal]dude I need to meet her..... I've never met [B]anyone[/B] of the fairer gender who was even remotely interested in electronics[/QUOTE] computers, mp3 players, but especially phones phones and phones...hell I didn't even have a cell phone until I met her and she spoiled me good ;)

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[QUOTE=asdf_admin]liar. you are so fucking own'd is not funny. type that again when she is around. :lol:[/QUOTE] :TNF:

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[QUOTE=Jenks]No.

Canettos. Sounds like the same place. ;)[/QUOTE]

ah. at least at Baldo, you don't have to wait 2 hours for your table. ;)

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[U]Compromise:[/U] 1.) Split music time (She likes 80s hair bands which to me is like nails to a blackboard) 2.) I am much cleaner now then I use to be ;) 3.) I am now officially the maintence man around the house! (Hanging garage doors, working with electrical, getting on 40' ladders to change lights. etc)

[U]No Compromise[/U] 1.) Nothing because I am whooped.

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[QUOTE=DJJEFFJONES] 3.) I am now officially the maintence man around the house! (Hanging garage doors, working with electrical, getting on 40' ladders to change lights. etc)[/QUOTE]

Gotta say, I am about a 1000x more handy than I was before I got married. She never threw the gauntlet down on this at all, it just sorta grew out of opportunity and necessity. I love it, though. It's nice to know that when something needs to be done around the house or something goes wrong, I don't have to automatically start shelling out Franklins to address the problem.

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[quote=Kamal]dude I need to meet her..... I've never met [B]anyone[/B] of the fairer gender who was even remotely interested in electronics[/quote]

Yeah, the only "electronics" they seem to be interested in are typically covered in some brightly colored silicone and make loud buzzing noises....:WinkNSmi:.....that and the fricken Nano.

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bleh

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this is truly a good thread. I am 3 months away and do not know what the true changes will be after the big day. Hopefully none that are bad. Overall, I think for most of us, each couple rubs of each other, the good ones in a good way. When you have 2 poeple where their good traits rub off of each other, it tends to work out.

A true test is, ask your gf or wife to leave the seat up when finished. Tell her, you have bad aim at night. If she agrees, you might want to hold on to her. :sorry:

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[QUOTE=speciale]this is truly a good thread. I am 3 months away and do not know what the true changes will be after the big day. [/QUOTE]

Honestly, we lived together for about a year and a half before we got married, so not a lot changed in the day-to-day from when we were just engaged and living together. One of the biggest changes for me was a financial one. I think about the money I spend differently now, and I know she does, too. Notwithstanding that there hasn't been a significant change in either of our income since we got married in September, the change in mindset has definitely resulted in a more rosy and stable financial situation.

I'll offer this suggestion, since it has worked so well for us. We've set up multiple accounts -- joint checking, two individual checking accounts, short term savings, and investment. Joint checking pays all fixes expenses, and everything that benefits the both of us or the house -- mortgage payments, student loans, car payments, groceries, eating out, home improvement, whatever. Each month, we also throw some in savings and invest some. Each pay period, we also have a certain amount that goes into each of our individual checking accounts. We can spend this however we want, whenever we want, on whatever we want so we still have some autonomy in what we buy. It works out great, because our own personal purchases can never impact our household financial situation. If I decide to blow a couple grand on another big screen, so be it, and if she wants to spend $1000 on nice smelling candles, that's her prerogative, because it's our personal money -- we never have to deal with the situation where we can't pay the electric bill because someone made an impulse buy, and we don't have to consult one another on every little thing.

Really, though, regardless of what you do, just make sure you have a plan. They say money is the #1 source of marital problems. Having a plan in place can only help cut that off at the pass.

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[QUOTE=speciale]A true test is, ask your gf or wife to leave the seat up when finished. Tell her, you have bad aim at night. If she agrees, you might want to hold on to her. :sorry:[/QUOTE] good luck finding that...I've seriously yet to hear of any woman whatsoever willing to do that. :roll:

and truthfully, there are much bigger things to argue over.

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[quote=toasty]

if she wants to spend $1000 on nice smelling candles, that's her prerogative, [/quote]

Guys never really know how much candles cost until women enter the picture. Man, i had no idea they go up so high. lol.

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I've become afraid of "candle-shopping" :evil:

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^^^ Have you see the comedian Bill Burr? He talks about that and it is hilarious. Check him out if you get a chance!

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[quote=rubyraks]good luck finding that...I've seriously yet to hear of any woman whatsoever willing to do that. :roll:

and truthfully, there are much bigger things to argue over.[/quote]

I'm not that stupid. It wasn't meant to be taken serious :lol: