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[ms] · Est. May 2002

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Forums / General Yakkity Yak

Dude cuts off his penis and throws it at Chicago police

20 durable postsStarted 2006-03-17Latest 2006-03-20
#25528Post 1 of 20

TAZER!?!?!?! just shoot the focker... the man didn't want to live if he cut off his dick. wtf

[quote]

Before cops threw the book at him, Jakub Fik threw something unusual at them -- his penis.

Fik, 33, cut off his own penis during a Northwest Side rampage Wednesday morning. When confronted by police, Fik hurled several knives and his severed organ at the officers, police said. Officers stunned him with a Taser and took him into custody. "We took him out without any serious injury, with the exception of his own," said Chicago Police Sgt. Edward Dolan of the 16th District.

Doctors at Northwestern Memorial Hospital reattached Fik's penis Wednesday, sources said. He was listed in good condition Thursday, according to hospital spokesman Andrew Buchanan, who declined to comment further.

Fik, who lives in the 5400 block of W. Berenice, is charged with two counts of aggravated assault and one count of criminal damage to property, said Officer Laura Kubiak. He told paramedics he was distraught over problems with his girlfriend in Poland, Dolan said.

Police arrived on Fik's block at 8:20 a.m. Wednesday after receiving reports he was smashing car windows, Dolan said. Fik then broke into a house down the block. A group of six or seven officers assembled in front of the house, Dolan said. The occupants were not home, he added.

Fik was bleeding when the officers arrived and may have already cut off his organ, Dolan said.

"At that point, this guy came running out, naked, with a handful of knives . . . and started throwing knives at the police officers that were 10, 20, 30 feet away," Dolan said.

Fik threw his penis during the confrontation, too, Dolan said. He then went back into the house and re-emerged with "another handful of knives," Dolan said. Dolan sneaked to the side of the bungalow's front steps and stunned Fik with the Taser. Fik fought back when officers went to restrain him, Dolan said.

"About 10 feet from the front porch, right on the sidewalk, was his penis," Dolan said. Dr. Greg Bales, associate professor of urology at the University of Chicago, said severed penises are uncommon but surgery usually works. "As long as the penis is placed on ice and reattached within a few hours, the success is usually pretty good," Bales said.[/quote]

#587479Post 2 of 20

Re: Dude cuts off his penis and throws it at Chicago police

:shock: WTF

Knife wielding naked man with no penis...Now I have heard it all.

#587482Post 3 of 20

Re: Dude cuts off his penis and throws it at Chicago police

lmao...nearly like that old woman in the Simpsons throwing cats at visitors. Only difference is that he used knifes and his penis and that he does not live in a cartoon. :|

#587490Post 4 of 20

Re: Dude cuts off his penis and throws it at Chicago police

what a dick!

#587491Post 5 of 20

Re: Dude cuts off his penis and throws it at Chicago police

^^ "actual chicago police quote".....

#587496Post 6 of 20

Re: Dude cuts off his penis and throws it at Chicago police

they reattached it?! that's a legitimate penis for frying & sautee'ing :OhMy:

what a bunch of idiots. they need to learn their meats.

#587497Post 7 of 20

Re: Dude cuts off his penis and throws it at Chicago police

^kinda like pickled bull pizzle.

#587499Post 8 of 20

Re: Dude cuts off his penis and throws it at Chicago police

so if the penis hit a cop in the face, does that make him gay?

#587503Post 9 of 20

Re: Dude cuts off his penis and throws it at Chicago police

[quote=speciale]so if the penis hit a cop in the face, does that make him gay?[/quote] ^^ paging mr sieben.... paging mr sieben...... ruling please?

[RIGHT][SIZE=1] edited for more exciting content!!![/SIZE][/RIGHT]

#587510Post 10 of 20

Re: Dude cuts off his penis and throws it at Chicago police

[quote=geoffgulley]^^ paging mr sieben.... paging mr sieben......[/quote]

LOL! :lol:

:p

#587516Post 11 of 20

Re: Dude cuts off his penis and throws it at Chicago police

What are you pussies bitchin' about that guy??? None of us has the balls to cut off our own love pumps. I'd say RESPECT! (and "what a dillweed") :mrgreen:

#590363Post 12 of 20

Re: Dude cuts off his penis and throws it at Chicago police

classic.....the old cut off your dick and chuck it at the 5 0 trick

#590649Post 13 of 20

Re: Dude cuts off his penis and throws it at Chicago police

What a crazy bastard!

#590720Post 14 of 20

Re: Dude cuts off his penis and throws it at Chicago police

well that took balls...

#590780Post 15 of 20

Re: Dude cuts off his penis and throws it at Chicago police

[quote=speciale]so if the penis hit a cop in the face, does that make him gay?[/quote] no, assault with a deadly penis! :shock:

#590908Post 16 of 20

Re: Dude cuts off his penis and throws it at Chicago police

^^^ sounds like a porn movie name

#590965Post 17 of 20

Re: Dude cuts off his penis and throws it at Chicago police

homocide with a homopenis

#590972Post 18 of 20

Re: Dude cuts off his penis and throws it at Chicago police

Who's job was it to pick up the penis? Gotta be the guy way down the totem pole.

#591089Post 19 of 20

Re: Dude cuts off his penis and throws it at Chicago police

"We took him out without any serious injury" :NotMe:

what do you need to take a serious injury then?... cut your penis with balls included?

#591372Post 20 of 20

Re: Dude cuts off his penis and throws it at Chicago police

[quote=CND]Who's job was it to pick up the penis? Gotta be the guy way down the totem pole.[/quote]

HA HA, you said pole.

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