:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
This past weekend George Lucas announced the title to the final Star
Wars
movie. It's called, "I Hope You Geeks Have Some Money Left To Go See
This
Piece Of Shit Fifty Times In The Theatre; Not To Mention Buy All Of The
Overpriced Merchandise To Fill Your Bedroom In Your Mom's Basement".
The
fans have taken to calling it Episode III.
ALL TRUE, ALL NEW SHIRTS
All of our new shirts are here:
[url]http://www.tshirthell.com/miscpages/newshirt331.htm[/url]
If you're an AOL user, or unable to click the link above, copy and paste it into your browser.
NEW $1000 DISGUSTING WHORE CONTEST
If we learned anything from your emails, and the pictures you've sent in to our whore section, it's that most of you are truly sick, disgusting, mother fuckers. So, now it's time to put your money where your mouth is.
We are proud to announce the new $1000 Most Disgusting Whore Contest.
We
want you to send us a picture of you wearing your T-Shirt Hell shirt
while
committing the most disgusting, most unspeakable acts. We know you're
not
pretty, but you are pretty disgusting without even trying. So the
question
is: how disgusting can you be when you put your mind to it?
We want pictures that will make us want to cry, scream, and vomit. We know what you're capable of, and we'll give you a $1000 to capture it on film.
Remember, you have to be wearing your T-Shirt Hell shirt in the picture. All of the details are posted at:
[url]http://www.tshirthell.com/whores.htm[/url]
Incidentally, you freaks should check out Lacey, the smoking hot winner of our $1000 Hottest Whore contest.
[url]http://www.tshirthell.com/whores1000winner.htm[/url]
The runners up will be posted shortly and their pictures will appear throughout the regular whore pages.
DEMOCRATIC UNNATURAL CONVENTION
Yes, the Democratic Unnatural Convention is underway. Can you feel the
excitement? The air feels like it's practically burning when I pee.
I
thought I'd give a few tips for anyone traveling to the convention or
even
for those watching it on TV.
If you're planning on attending the convention you should know that some of those hookers aren't really ladies; and I don't just mean they have bad manners. Don't wait until they've ass raped you, beaten you with a lead pipe, and thrown your naked jizm and blood soaked body in a dumpster to find out. The best thing to do is when you approach a hooker in Boston you should ask, "Are you one of those ones that looks like a lady, but is really a dude, with a penis?" Remember, safety first. The good thing is you don't have to wear a condom. In honor of the convention, all of the hookers are disease free.
The next thing to remember, is when you attend the convention is to leave your pointy ears at home. It's not that kind of convention you lonely, pathetic, pimple faced, Postal playing, fanboy, loser. You, on the other hand, should just take whatever hooker you can get, and just be grateful. Remember to hide your bus fare underneath the dumpster.
A lot of you may heard that Ronald Reagan will be addressing the crowd, and are looking forward to seeing a cool, rotting, zombie of an ex-president lumbering through the convention killing delegates and eating their brains. This is not the case. Apparently there is an effeminate little man who is also called Ronald Reagan there to discuss something called stem cell research. This is just a fancy name for the old, "101 uses for a dead baby" routine. While this sounds like something that might be funny, it is in fact boring.
If you should encounter Hillary Rodham Clinton, it is appropriate to address her as, "Your Former First Lady Senatorness" and not by the more familiar, " Wassup, bitch?" Try not to stare at her giant legs, do avoid her atomic breath, and whatever you do, please refrain from asking, "Are you one of those ones that looks like a lady, but is really a dude, with a penis?"
For those of you planning to watch it on TV, you might want to know that as an alternative, they've just released a special VIP edition of the movie, "Showgirls". Yes, Elizabeth Berkley has an enormous flat ass that resembles two loaves of French bread placed side by side, but overall this movie is a real gem. I believe it includes a deleted scene with her taking a cumshot full in the face. Or that might be on the VIP edition of "Saved by the Bell" Season 4. Either one will be a better choice.
ALL HAIL THE HATE IN THE MAIL
From: sooze Sent: Saturday, July 03, 2004 9:45 AM Subject: RE: T-Shirt Hell Early July Newsletter
Please can I be taken off this list? I don't appreciate you telling women what they can and can't do during a lapdance. You'd be lucky to get one from anyone. I don't mind most of the shit you print, but when you start talking like a total wanker, degrading women it just makes me think, "Why the HELL am I on this mailing list??" So kindly remove me and stop sending me the crap you are so fond of spouting off. I'm a 16 y/o girl and I really don't want to hear an adult saying the type of bullshit you are full of.
Thanks.
(Editor's Note: Sooze, in America, anyone with $20 and a hard-on can get a lapdance. Actually, the hard-on is optional. I don't degrade these women, I celebrate them. You're the kind of girl who could benefit from my personal guidance. Please send a pic, plus your home phone number and address.)
----- Original Message ----- From: [email]Late120@***.com[/email] Sent: Wednesday, July 14, 2004 11:05 AM Subject: Re: Your response to hate mail
I just read your response to the person who wrote you complaining about the I Plane N.Y. T-shirt. How convenient that you don't bother to actually address her concerns. Instead you resort to name calling. I can't blame you I suppose. How could you intelligently and with any seriousness justify the selling of such a shirt? You can't. There is NO GOOD reason for selling such a hurtful t-shirt. That mocks the saddest and most tragic day in U.S. history.
(Editor's Note: First of all, I never feel the need to resort to name calling you shit brained, puss eating, pencil dicked, asshole. That's just an added bonus. Second, I can sell any fucking shirt that I want sell because unlike what you and those terrorist scumbags who attacked the World Trade Center, I believe in freedom of speech which is one of the principles this country was founded on. And yes it was meant to protect unpopular speech as well as any of this stupid crap that spouts out of your head when you don't have it shoved up your ass. As for a good reason to sell it, how about this: people want to buy it.)
----- Original Message ----- From: ScaryUncle**@***.com Sent: Friday, July 16, 2004 3:15 PM Subject: Hate mail worth reading
You guys suck, I'm sorry, but you do. You're trying to be a 2nd rate Howard Stern of the shirt business. You make out like you don't care, but you have a good website layout and probably spent a lot of time on you're business. Most of your T shirts are retarded. You're a bunch of wannabe jackoffs. You're newsletter suxx too, it's not even funny. I play postal, so don't tell me it's just because I'm a square.
Face the music dumbasses.
Scary Uncle
(Editor's Note: Glad to see you're so proud of the nickname your nephews call you while at therapy. I'm sorry that we have a well organized, professional company unlike Howard Stern who must never spend any time preparing his radio show. I'm sure they all sit on the floor in a dirty room passing around a Mr. Microphone. I'm sure you're not square. I'm sure you're more of that other shape, what do they call it? That's right, a mongoloid.)
Go Peace Yourself