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[ms] · Est. May 2002

Music madethis place,we just kept itgoing...

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Forums / General Yakkity Yak

FAO Men

26 durable postsStarted 2004-06-30Latest 2004-07-02
#1693Post 1 of 26

Sorry Ladies, but I can't help what makes me laugh:

How many men does it take to open a beer? None. It should be opened by the time she brings it.

Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman? Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will probably never be able to support you.

How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart? When she starts her sentence with "A man once told me..."

How do you fix a woman's watch? No need to. There is a clock on the oven.

If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first? The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in.

Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by 90%. It's called a Wedding Cake.

In the beginning, God created the earth and rested. Then God created Man and rested. Then God created Woman. Since then, neither God nor Man has rested.

#215947Post 2 of 26

[img]http://www.cheesebuerger.de/smilies/verbluefft/54.gif[/img]

[quote]In the beginning, God created the earth and rested. Then God created Man and rested. Then God created Woman. Since then, neither God nor Man has rested.[/quote]

But this one is cool. :twisted: :twisted: :twisted:

#216102Post 3 of 26

Beanz would have loved those. :cry:

#216104Post 4 of 26

Re:: FAO Men

:D I saw this before it's still funny.

[color=#E7E7EF] I was looking for hidden messages here. I'm paraniod now.[/color]

#216112Post 5 of 26

Q: What do you call a woman looking for revenge?

A: DreamGirlie

:wink:

#216163Post 6 of 26

[quote=Northern Exposed]Q: What do you call a woman looking for head?

A: DreamGirlie

:wink:[/quote]

dayum...

#216165Post 7 of 26

here's another one but it pretty bad.

What do you tell a woman with a black eye?

Nothing. You already told her once.

:shock: :lol:

#216170Post 8 of 26

Re: FAO Men

[quote=FM]Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by 90%. It's called a Wedding Cake.

[/quote]

haha aint that the truth

#216171Post 9 of 26

FM didnt you get the memo its only funny when Jenks or Beanz changes posts. :wink:

#216172Post 10 of 26

[quote=Northern Exposed]Q: What do you call a woman looking for revenge?

A: DreamGirlie

:wink:[/quote]

ouch

#216173Post 11 of 26

no ouch...i founds that quite funny!! :D :lol:

#216175Post 12 of 26

[quote=DreamGirlie]no ouch...i founds that quite funny!! :D :lol:[/quote]

alright then.well yeah i guess after this past week that would be so true.

#216178Post 13 of 26

Harsh!!!

BTW where did you go last night, I turned around and you were gone?

#216181Post 14 of 26

[quote=DreamGirlie]Harsh!!!

BTW where did you go last night, I turned around and you were gone?[/quote]

i bailed at about 12:30 i thought u left.but i saw u sitting with a bunch of people.didnt wanna interupt the party

#216328Post 15 of 26

Re:: FAO Men

Why is it called PMS? -- Because "Mad Cow Disease" was already taken.

Next time your woman says "Do these jeans make my ass look big?", say "No, your ass makes you ass look big".

#216335Post 16 of 26

Why do women have legs?

Have you seen the mess a snail leaves. :evil:

Sorry.

#216350Post 17 of 26

[quote=neoee]Beanz would have loved those. :cry:[/quote]

who gives a shit. he was a troll.

#216419Post 18 of 26

Re:: FAO Men

nice one

#216448Post 19 of 26

"How do you fix a woman's watch? No need to. There is a clock on the oven"

:CrackUp:

#216449Post 20 of 26

[quote=neoee]Beanz would have loved those. :cry:[/quote]

where is Beanz dude!?

I miss his crazy comments!

qulity jokes mate,

#216455Post 21 of 26

A guy walks into a bar with his pet alligator, puts the gator up on the bar, and faces the patrons. "If I open this alligator?s mouth and place my genitals inside, leave ?em there for five minutes, then remove my unit unscathed, will each of you buy me a drink?"

The crowd murmurs its approval, so he gets up on the bar, drops his pants, and places his privates in the alligator?s open mouth. The gator then closes its mouth as the crowd gasps.

After five minutes, the man grabs a beer bottle and raps the alligator hard on the top of its head. The gator opens its mouth and the man removes his genitals?unscathed, as promised. The crowd cheers, and the first of his free drinks is delivered.

"Anyone else have the guts to give it a try?" the man dares the crowd.

After a few seconds, a blonde woman timidly speaks up. "I?ll do it, but no hitting me on the head with the bottle."

#216550Post 22 of 26

haha nice 8)

How are blondes like turtles?

When they fall on their backs their fucked.

#216615Post 23 of 26

[quote=day_for_night][quote=neoee]Beanz would have loved those. :cry:[/quote]

who gives a shit. he was a troll.[/quote]

:lol:

#216655Post 24 of 26

Re:: FAO Men

...

Adam was walking around the Garden of Eden feeling very lonely, so God asked Adam, "What is wrong with you?"

Adam said, "Lord, I don't have anyone to talk to."

God said, "Then I will give you a companion, and she will be called a 'woman'. This person will cook for you and wash your clothes, she will always agree with every decision you make. She will bear your children and never ask you to get up in the middle of the night to take care of them. She will not nag you, and will always be the first to admit she was wrong when you've had a disagreement. She will never have a headache, and will freely give 'love' and compassion whenever needed. She will never question your behaviour or the company you keep. She will support you and understand that you have important decisions to make throughout your life and don't have time for nonsense..."

Adam asked God, "What will this woman cost?"

God said, "An arm and a leg..."

Adam said, "What can I get for just a rib?"

#216678Post 25 of 26

[quote=day_for_night][quote=neoee]Beanz would have loved those. :cry:[/quote]

yeah. i really REALLY need him back. :Anal:[/quote]

We all already knew that. Poor guy. :CrackUp:

#216748Post 26 of 26

[quote=mylexicon]here's another one but it pretty bad.

What do you tell a woman with a black eye?

Nothing. You already told her once.

:shock: :lol:[/quote]

i feel so guilty for laughing at this one.

:unsure:

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