Anyone ever try any of these Russell Stover "Net Carb Gummi Bears?" Holyfuckingmoses does those things pack a punch. For those of you unfamiliar with these little treats, they are made with a sugar substitute, the excess consumption of which "may have a laxative effect."

I'm here to tell you that:

1. It does not require "excess consumption" -- I had one small bag, and
2. There is no "may" about it.

I had a little bag of these things after lunch, and I've spent the better part of my afternoon on the throne. After starting things out with a positively epic dump, I've had nothing but the anal equivalent of dry heaves ever since. "Here I sit broken hearted, came to shit but only farted" -- truer words have never been spoken.

Words from the wise -- if you should ever get some of these things, just take a pass. Better yet, skip the middleman (you) and just throw them directly into the toilet.

Gotta run.

Re: Fucking Gummi Bears

Uhhh...TMI man...TMI. :?

Re: Fucking Gummi Bears

:lol:

Tool!! what do you expect from sugar subsitute?!!

Re: Fucking Gummi Bears

lofl ... that sucks!

Re: Fucking Gummi Bears

hahaha thats classic

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must have been interesting day in court. :P

""the defense requests a 10 minute break before they shit themselves.""

DENIED :twisted:

Re: Fucking Gummi Bears

That is hillarious.

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Tool!! what do you expect from sugar subsitute?!![/quote]

Yeah, yeah yeah -- if I'd had a ton of it, it would have made some sense, but I only had one serving. Oh well. Live & learn...

Feeling much better today. Had a number of what can only be fairly described as "farting sessions" last night where I just sat on the can and made beautiful music for 15 minutes or so at a time, and that seems to have taken care of the problem.

Don't let me have blown ass in vain. For the love of all that is good, avoid these little demons.

Re: Fucking Gummi Bears

5/5 imo :CrackUp:

I don't typically eat gummi bears or "candy" but if ever the time comes and these cross my path i will avoid at all costs.

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MJ's original Maynards winegums were solid...no shitting in excess at all. :mrgreen:

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Where can I find these? I think I'm going to hand out some of these babies at work... and then leave. :twisted:

Re: Fucking Gummi Bears

i know somebody that had that happen to them on the sugar free reeses peanut butter cups. lasted for days too :shock:

Re: Fucking Gummi Bears

Thread of the year.

[img]http://www.crispie.com/wsaa/images/Big%20Buck%20Trophy.jpg[/img]

Re: Fucking Gummi Bears

[quote=neoee]Where can I find these? I think I'm going to hand out some of these babies at work... and then leave. :twisted:[/quote]

Genius!!!! What can your boss say when you're crappin' your pants. Sounds like the perfect "Friday-early-weekend" scam.

:digweed:

Re: Fucking Gummi Bears

:CrackUp: its almost friday

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I'm all geared up...5 bags of these babies. Come lunch time...HELLO WEEKEND!!!!!!

Re: Fucking Gummi Bears

[quote=toasty] After starting things out with a positively epic dump, I've had nothing but the anal equivalent of dry heaves ever since..[/quote]

LMFAO!! :CrackUp:

Re: Fucking Gummi Bears

never had any "toilet" problems with gummi bears, at least with the original (haribo brand)

anyhow i try to avoid them, as they stretch in your stomach and having eaten a complete bag of them (they are really addictive) can cause you major stomach pain

if you want to see how it works, put a single gummi bear into a glass of water and watch it a few days, you will be amazed

Re: Fucking Gummi Bears

[quote=Clausen77] if you want to see how it works, put a single gummi bear into a glass of water and watch it a few days, you will be amazed[/quote]

Man, sounds like an experiment I got to try now.