"I think someone ruined a perfectly good butt-hole by putting teeth in your mouth" :lol::lol:

Re: Funniest one-liners you heard

"I think you've had about as much sex as a boil-infested dwarf"

Re: Funniest one-liners you heard

What's the difference between peanut butter and jam? You cant peanut butter your c$ck into your chicks ar$ehole.

Re: Funniest one-liners you heard

Come here and smell your girlfriend/wife/mum (while giving the middle finger)

Re: Funniest one-liners you heard

You're the reason why they put lids on abortion buckets (old)

Re: Funniest one-liners you heard

If you say donkey, I say kong.

Used mostly at poker or talking about Fernando Torres.

Re: Funniest one-liners you heard

My dick's died, can I bury it your ass?

Re: Funniest one-liners you heard

[QUOTE=nelinho;1095785]My dick's died, can I bury it your ass?[/QUOTE]

:roflmao::roflmao::roflmao::roflmao:

Re: Funniest one-liners you heard

:shock:

Re: Funniest one-liners you heard

What's the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts? Beer nuts are free, deer nuts are just under a buck.

Re: Funniest one-liners you heard

[QUOTE]Jib says:he isnt worth the water that splashes up into your asshole while you're shitting[/QUOTE]

Yeahp...

Re: Funniest one-liners you heard

[QUOTE=Kamal;1095620]"I think someone ruined a perfectly good butt-hole by putting teeth in your mouth" :lol::lol:[/QUOTE]

^this one is winning :lol:

Re: Funniest one-liners you heard

wow... haven't heard any of these.... (thankfully)

Re: Funniest one-liners you heard

[QUOTE=Illuminate;1095853]Yeahp...[/QUOTE]

if only I could reveal who Jib was talking about, that woulda been priceless.

Re: Funniest one-liners you heard

[QUOTE=Kamal;1096062]if only I could reveal who Jib was talking about, that woulda been priceless.[/QUOTE]

Probably me, that punk!! :lol:

Re: Funniest one-liners you heard

More like vile statments than funny one liners.

Re: Funniest one-liners you heard

you talk so much shit I don't know whether to give you a mint or toilet paper

Re: Funniest one-liners you heard

stands out like dogs balls on a cat.

Re: Funniest one-liners you heard

[QUOTE=Kamal;1096062]if only I could reveal who Jib was talking about, that woulda been priceless.[/QUOTE]

Without knowing who Jib is or knowing who he's talking about maybe it loses a little. More of an in-joke than a one liner?

Re: Funniest one-liners you heard

I went round a friend's house and he said "there's a cup of tea going spare if you want one"

I said "it doesn't look very angry to me"

Re: Funniest one-liners you heard

"I'll see you when i get my glasses"

Re: Funniest one-liners you heard

That's a bit low brow don't you think?

Re: Funniest one-liners you heard

I'm as toey as a roman sandal.

Re: Funniest one-liners you heard

You're brighter than an Amish electrician at a Power Plant.

Re: Funniest one-liners you heard

Not really one liners as opposed to chat up lines:

Get your crash helmet - you're going through the headboard.

Are you Jamaican? Cos you're Jamai-can me crazy

How do you like your eggs in the morning? Fertilised?

Re: Funniest one-liners you heard

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Re: Funniest one-liners you heard

Your chin has hit more balls than Don Bradman.

Re: Funniest one-liners you heard

[QUOTE=GregWhelan;1096285] How do you like your eggs in the morning? Fertilised?[/QUOTE]

:lol:

Re: Funniest one-liners you heard

According to a survey, over 10 percent of Americans have picked someone else’s nose.