This morning I tried and committed suicide, 20 sleeping pills. I just let a few people know, so they could take care of my poor kitty.

My cousin called an ambulance without consulting me. I refused assistance so they called the Police.

I spent 8 hours with tubes in all my holes. It was time to get back home but NO ONE, friends, cousin, father, brother was available.

I was ready to walk the several miles from the hospital to my house in my underwear (my cousin with a stroke of genius had hidden all my cash). But a male nurse has given me a lift.

And of course, the [URL="http://www.mercuryserver.com/forums/djdb.php?id=969"]blame[/URL] is on me and people don't want to to talk to me anymore because they have their own problems.

sbando

Re: A little tale of bad luck.

Typical mongo reaction from MS, fuck you.

Re: A little tale of bad luck.

Check in at a hospital and get some help for goodness sake :(

Re: A little tale of bad luck.

:( Get Well

Re: A little tale of bad luck.

Please see a therapist asap. Please know that people love you and that you are special and important to others. Please consider the idea of a higher power and purpose. Please believe me when I say life can be beautiful with a few small changes in decision making. Please don't ever do that again. Please believe me that there is more to life than what you currently know.

This is deeply saddening.

Re: A little tale of bad luck.

[IMG]http://i.imgur.com/c9RA7.jpg[/IMG]

Re: A little tale of bad luck.

Don't do it again, please. You'll get nothing good, it won't be over. I'm sure you have a lot of people that love you and care for you. Get professional assistance, sbando. :(

Re: A little tale of bad luck.

sorry for my ignorance, but did sbando really try to commit suicide???!! wow this is unbelievable!! and why the guy who told the story is saying "fuck you"? is he a friend of sbando?!! I can't get it

Re: A little tale of bad luck.

I believe chunkywillalways = sbando

Re: A little tale of bad luck.

sbando dude I dunno what's going on but nothing should be that bad. And I think we've seen enough tragedies on [ms], let's not have you contribute to that :(

Re: A little tale of bad luck.

[QUOTE=feather;1069655]sbando dude I dunno what's going on but nothing should be that bad. [/QUOTE]

Yes, but that's not the reality for the person who is ready to take their own life. Chances are for Sbando it feels "that bad," I know how you meant it feather I just wanted to point out the distinction for Sbando's sake.

Re: A little tale of bad luck.

Jesus Lorenzo what the heck dude. I'm travelling right now and Florida texted me about this. What going on with you brother? Please take help. Please please please...

Re: A little tale of bad luck.

This is really terrible to hear. Please take care of yourself man and get yourself some help. See a therapist. Problems and your outlook on life are only temporary, suicide is permanent.

Re: A little tale of bad luck.

Seriously, life may seem that bad my friend, but experiencing even bad times is better than not experiencing anything at all.... ever again. Death is for eternity, life's problems pass. There are better times ahead for you.

Re: A little tale of bad luck.

Please seek help, man. You have friends that care--please reach out to any of us/them and talk if you feel lost.

Re: A little tale of bad luck.

A few minutes ago:

"Doctor?" "Yes?" "Yesterday I did this and that" [I]"So?" [/I]"We need to talk" "This week we're busy, maybe tomorrow, call the secretary"

You should look at this in a naturalistic way, what happens to a lonely soul when it's troubled in this peculiar world of idiotic relatives, uncaring family members, even more idiotic social workers.

Re: A little tale of bad luck.

[QUOTE=Rawrmune;1069664]... your outlook on life are only temporary, suicide is permanent.[/QUOTE]

Read this Lorenzo, read it again and again and again. Please stop doing this to yourself.

Re: A little tale of bad luck.

I am so sorry you are going through such a difficult time and that you feel like there is no way out. Know that no matter how difficult life gets, there is always a light at the end of the tunnel & people that care about you. Please get the help you need before its too late.....stay strong & keep fighting

Re: A little tale of bad luck.

I want to disappear. Useless to others, unloved, now broke too (that must be why my friends don't visit as often as they did)

Re: A little tale of bad luck.

[URL="http://www.befrienders.org/support/helplines.asp"]Help a friend - Befrienders Worldwide[/URL]

[url="http://www.iasp.info/resources/detail/italy--800-86-00-22--samaritans-onlus-italia-107.htm"]ITALY - 800 86 00 22 - Samaritans onlus Italia - Details [/url]

^Call them if it gets rough, you clearly need a new doctor. I'm looking for more resources for you now.

How's your diet/workout schedule lately? As far as "disappearing" there are options for you, maybe take some time traveling... I have friends that love Mexico because of it's laid back lifestyle, culture and natural beauty. But my point is, you have a world of options that are better than ending you life buddy. You just can't see them right now because you are focused on what you feel like you don't have. I promise it will get better, you are at the bottom right now, only direction to go next is up.

Have you explored your options for moving and starting over? Making new friends, etc? You're a social person, we all know and appreciate that about you dude.

Re: A little tale of bad luck.

[QUOTE=chunkywillalways;1069684]I want to disappear. Useless to others, unloved, now broke too (that must be why my friends don't visit as often as they did)[/QUOTE]

sometimes i want to disappear too. i hope you learn from this that you will only go when its your time and not when you decide to, so stop doing it to urself, all that stuff is not worth killing urself, there are many options you can do before this....

change the glasses you view the world from, accept what you have and take it as it is, death is coming when its meant to come, sooner or later it will come, you never know what could happen tomorrow to turn things around, friends being away and neglectful family is not worth that, even being broke, maybe u shud take all this as lessons to learn and move on to a better place, all this can be replaced...so get up, dust urself up and stop doing that lorenzo...just let it be, after winter theres spring and summer, so live up your inner seasons, and keep searching to the place ur soul will be fine...theres a sun that shines everyday after a dark night.

look at those below u, some people struggle to stay alive from lack of even water or food, yet they still try and they dont go kill themselves....take that option out of the door, i promise u if u had to do this over again 100 times and its still not ur time to go then u wont go...so get that option out coz its not in ur hands...and the keyword is accept and have hope.

Re: A little tale of bad luck.

[QUOTE=chunkywillalways;1069684]I want to disappear. Useless to others, unloved, now broke too (that must be why my friends don't visit as often as they did)[/QUOTE]

:(

I felt like this a few years back.....my world was turned upside down when someone I thought was the love of my life up and left me (you may recall this if you were on the board in 2008 ). He left me heartbroken, alone in a city 5hrs from my family, and completely broke. You may feel all alone but there are people that care about you....even if it's just one or two people, reach out to them.

The cliche I'm sure you've heard a million times is that time heals all wounds and things will get better.....I know it's hard to believe but it's true. I got back into photography, moved back to my hometown for a new start, got a new job, and ended up meeting the love of my life. We are now married and expecting our 1st child any day now (actuall 5 days past my due date!).

Take this time to focus on you and your dreams....pick up an old or new hobby and focus your energy on that....it will help distract you from your pain. When you start to feel low again, reach out to your loved ones & if they aren't available, come on here and vent. The people on this board saved me in more ways than they will ever know.....there are a great bunch of people on here, who are always willing to help.

Please stay strong!

Re: A little tale of bad luck.

^Super excited for you Karen! Our 7 month old is the most amazing thing we've ever experienced!

Re: A little tale of bad luck.

Life can have a way of turning around ... too many people lost too soon.

Hope Sb pulls through and can look back on things in years to come as a distant thought in a bleak period :(

Best wishes as always ... forza la viola

[img]http://theinsideleft.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/09/Roberto-Baggio-made-his-name-at-Fiorentina-and-his-departure-for-Juventus-in-1990-was-met-with-anger-by-viola-tifosi.jpg[/img]

Re: A little tale of bad luck.

Dude.... I am speechless.... just know that you are not alone...

Believe it or not, I pretty much felt the way you feel at some point in my life... but like everyone mentioned here... know that you are loved. I carry on everyday with one line in my head repeated over and over "This too shall pass"

If you need anyone to chat with... do PM... I can't promise that I will reply right away but I do check [ms] every time I get a chance.

Hugs xx

Re: A little tale of bad luck.

I'm fairly certain I speak for most all of the members who regularly participate in GYY that you are more than welcome to PM any of us any time you need to.

Re: A little tale of bad luck.

[QUOTE=floridaorange;1069776]I'm fairly certain I speak for most all of the members who regularly participate in GYY that you are more than welcome to PM any of us any time you need to.[/QUOTE]

This..

Public and sincere positive feedback on this thread is good but Lorenzo you must know you can count with some of us if you want, like already told you.. you are a good soul

Try to stay well, life is just too short to waste it

:group hu:

Re: A little tale of bad luck.

Life will always get better Sbando.

People Do Care. I was feeling pretty shitty these past couple of years but I always never forgot my family and how they would or could even get by without me.

I came to the conclusion that depression is a mindset and oftentimes leads you to think stupid, selfish, and have a 100% FUCK ALL attitude that only makes yourself look like shite. Sure I had 'friends' that were there when everything was good then suddenly became mute and nonexistent when things were bad for me but the way I took that as, if they are this GREAT of friends now, why do I even have them as friends to begin with? It really sets the mood for yourself and your own expectations for others. More so than not, it strengthens your core friends who are there through the thick and thin if nothing else.

All I can say is keep on keeping on my friend. It may seem like you have nobody but in reality that is not true, you have plenty of people who Care.

Re: A little tale of bad luck.

I didn't know what to say last night when I saw the message. Still not sure, glad you are still with us and kept us in the loop. Seek some guidance and take a look at the genuine people you see here on this site. Utilise the support you have here amongst some counselling... A lot of people were gutted when you mentioned leaving the site...but a permanent departure from existence...no, that's too much for us.

[ATTACH=CONFIG]9674[/ATTACH]

Re: A little tale of bad luck.

sbando if you need to talk. PM me!

please dont get upset if i dont reply straight away!

just remember there are people here for you! I dont know whats going on but time is the greatest healer!

Re:

sbando...You are obviously not alone, without those who care. You have two pages (& counting) that proves this. My two best mates & I have all contemplated ending it but didn't go through with it for our own personal reasons. I witnessed one of them placing a loaded 9 mil. w/hollow points in his mouth & putting one in the chamber not more than a few months ago. Scary to say the least! You'll get through it. Trust me, if you were walking in my shoes, you would've been looking for the tallest bridge a long time ago. Yeh, life blows but it does have its moments from time to time. Hang in there man! At least this year's almost over. Stoked for that!

Re: A little tale of bad luck.

There was a time where I felt deeply lonely, lived far away from everyone I knew and loved and was not doing well. I finally got to a point where I humbled myself and prayed and asked God for what I wanted. The next day I made a really good friend who introduced me to a whole group of people and I started going to church. I did a lot of crying and faced a lot of decisions I had made that had led me to where I was. The church wasn't your typical church by any means. And back in 2002 it was WAY ahead of it's time. There were people there of all races, all styles, and literally just a huge mix of society. It did me a lot of good going for a few years before moving too far away.

I think it's only natural for all humans to either not believe, believe, or be uncertain. All I'm saying is that when I really needed help, I asked and the next day received.

Sorry if my little story offends anyone and I know it's going to make some members mad, but I would personally feel like I left something out if I didn't post it, and I don't want to have any regrets, not in times like these.

peace

Re: A little tale of bad luck.

my fave lines from Lord Of The Rings....gave me courage countless times when i thought i was falling...still gives me goosebumps everytime i read it...Sam says[COLOR=#000000] [/COLOR][COLOR=#fff0f5]''[FONT=georgia]It's like in the great stories, Mr. Frodo. The ones that really mattered. Full of darkness and danger, they were. And sometimes you didn't want to know the end. Because how could the end be happy? How could the world go back to the way it was when so much bad had happened? But in the end, it's only a passing thing, this shadow. Even darkness must pass. A new day will come. And when the sun shines it will shine out the clearer. Those were the stories that stayed with you. That meant something, even if you were too small to understand why. But I think, Mr. Frodo, I do understand. I know now. Folk in those stories had lots of chances of turning back, only they didn't. They kept going. Because they were holding on to something.

Sbando i have faith in you...[/FONT][/COLOR]

Re: A little tale of bad luck.

Brotha your lack of response to this thread is really troubling. Please tell us you're OK.

Re: A little tale of bad luck.

I PMed him and no reply either. Also PMed Dhar wondering if there's anyway he can make contact since they're in Italy.

He did post in the Nick Warren thread yesterday: [url="http://www.mercuryserver.com/forums/showthread.php?126121-Nick-Warren-Renaissance-Master-Series&p=1069808&viewfull=1#post1069808"]Nick Warren Renaissance Master Series - Page 2[/url]

As long as he appears active ...

Re: A little tale of bad luck.

I believe he is ok since he posted this [URL]http://soundcloud.com/everybodywantstobethedj/dj-tarkan-november-resident[/URL] just a few hours ago..

Re: A little tale of bad luck.

Lorenzo, I don't know you at all and don't post on here much anymore due to my life being turned upside and also wanting to feel invisiible or as you put it "wantinig to disappear." Over the course of the past 3 years, I have lost my house, my job, my car, my wife, remarried and recently found out my 2nd wife (what I thought was my best friend, my equal and partner for life) had been cheating (anyone on here feel free to accost "msrainman" :evil:) we are now divorced and I honestly feel like my life is over. The only two things that kept me from ending it a few weeks ago were my two sons. I understand the helplessness you feel all too well, minie has been going on for 3 years now....way too long. I am currently in therapy, but it has taken over a month for me to actually just sit down and talk with my therapist. It does help to talk to someone who is a neutral party. From one broken soul to another, if you need to talk PM me. Trust me, I have been wandering in the darkness for a while now and don't buy into the "time will heal" bs as time has only progressed my discomfort in life and distrust in everyone. I don't offer this to ANYONE, but again if you need to talk with someone who is just as lost as you are PM me.

Re: A little tale of bad luck.

*If everyone on MS was as honest as Rainman^ and Sbando we would learn that there are actually quite a few members here who have most likely contemplated suicide on a serious level at one time in their lives or another. It's not uncommon.

We're here for you buddy, and we're not going anywhere until you are doing better. It takes a lot of courage to admit when you have problems and need help and you've been doing that on MS and that's commendable. Now it's time to find a caring therapist who can really help you. Once you get yourself right, friends will be made, broken relationships will be mended and your life will be back on course.