Five stages of drunkenness

Stage 1 - SMART- This is when you suddenly become an expert on every subject in the known Universe. You know you know everything and want to pass on your knowledge to anyone who will listen. At this stage you are always RIGHT. And of course the person you are talking to is very WRONG. This makes for an interesting argument when both parties are SMART.

Stage 2 - GOOD LOOKING- This is when you realize that you are the BEST LOOKING person in the entire bar and that people fancy you. You can go up to a perfect stranger knowing they fancy you and really want to talk to you. Bear in mind that you are still SMART, so you can talk to this person about any subject under the sun.

Stage 3 - RICH- This is when you suddenly become the richest person in the world. You can buy drinks for the entire bar because you have an armoured truck full of money parked behind the bar. You can also make bets at this stage, because of course, you are still SMART, so naturally you win all your bets. It doesn't matter how much you bet 'cos you are RICH. You will also buy drinks for everyone that you fancy, because now you are the BEST LOOKING person in the world.

Stage 4 - BULLET PROOF- You are now ready to pick fights with anyone and everyone especially those with whom you have been betting or arguing. This is because nothing can hurt you. At this point you can also go up to the partners of the people who you fancy and challenge to a battle of wits or money. You have no fear of losing this battle because you are SMART, you are RICH and hell, you're BETTER LOOKING than they are anyway!

Stage 5 - INVISIBLE- This is the Final Stage of Drunkenness. At this point you can do anything because NO ONE CAN SEE YOU. You dance on a table to impress the people who you fancy because the rest of the people in the room cannot see you. You are also invisible to the person who wants to fight you. You can walk through the street singing at the top of your lungs because no one can see or hear you and because you're still SMART you know all the words.

:lol:

lol. :ChatterB:

im on

hehe :Wacko: i kinda love lvl 5

:CrackUp: :CrackUp: :CrackUp:

I just hate level 3... you wake up next morning with no money at all in your wallet :evil:

[quote=chato]:CrackUp: :CrackUp: :CrackUp:

I just hate level 3... you wake up next morning with no money at all in your wallet :evil:[/quote]

I went to a wedding reception last night and drank myself stupid. I woke up this morning, went to get some food, and noticed that I was missing $100. I was freaking out for a few minutes before I realized I let a buddy borrow it last night. :Cheerz:

I'm the smartest fucker you'll ever know.

I always like to become invisible.

i used to have a best friend that would go through all the stages, sometimes he'd get soo drunk he'd drop his pants, in the bar :Rolling: we don't hang out anymore

[quote=picklemonkey][quote=chato]:CrackUp: :CrackUp: :CrackUp:

I just hate level 3... you wake up next morning with no money at all in your wallet :evil:[/quote]

I went to a wedding reception last night and drank myself stupid. I woke up this morning, went to get some food, and noticed that I was missing $100. I was freaking out for a few minutes before I realized I let a buddy borrow it last night. :Cheerz:[/quote]

hell yeah, my brothers wedding was last night, and everybody in the club got typsy.....shit was sooo damn funny.. :lol:

[quote=diskk]sometimes he'd get soo drunk he'd drop his pants, in the bar :Rolling: we don't hang out anymore[/quote]

:Whoaa:

I can see why you don't hang out anymore, lol!!

[quote=Pebbles][quote=diskk]sometimes he'd get soo drunk he'd drop his pants, in the bar :Rolling: we don't hang out anymore[/quote]

:Whoaa:

I can see why you don't hang out anymore, lol!![/quote]

i hope something else wasn't hanging out tho :CrackUp:

[quote=picklemonkey][quote=chato]:CrackUp: :CrackUp: :CrackUp:

I just hate level 3... you wake up next morning with no money at all in your wallet :evil:[/quote]

I went to a wedding reception last night and drank myself stupid. I woke up this morning, went to get some food, and noticed that I was missing $100. I was freaking out for a few minutes before I realized I let a buddy borrow it last night. :Cheerz:[/quote] Hey, at least you remebered where it went. It's much worse when you think it fell out of your wallet or something. For me losing $100 is a big hit. Had this happen on my last birthday and still don't know if I spent it or lost it :Rolling:

and how about those blackouts:?: i seem to have that alot. people tell me stuff afterwards that i totally don't remember. my last blackout happend after 2 cocktails, and about 10 beers and some vodka. i haven't drunk in ages so i was pretty wasted. well anyways i went to a friends house to chrash over there. the guy had some weed but he can't rolle (sp?), well apparantly i've rolled a joint smoke half of it and then i felt asleep in his livingroom. i remember him talking about the weed in the pub but i've quit months ago so i wasn't interrested. but when i woke up and he told me i rolled and smoked i couldend believe it, untill i saw the joint in his ashtray. this girl i know kissed me in the pub the same night, couldn't remember that either :NotMe: i wish i did remember that part, she's f'ing hot. :LoveYou:

what about

Stage 6: empty head, headache, stomachache, throwing up and feeling like shit for the next (couple of) day(s). :lol:

Damn, that's the stage I definitely hate the most... :wink:

It?s funny because it?s true!

Yeah, I?ve gone through those stages, though not always by that same order.

I actually try to live as much of my time as possible on stage 1...

A few years ago, I drank a few whiskeys (2) before one of my final exams. Well, I scored 100 percent, so it?s not that impossible to call stage 1 the SMART stage.

The problem is that you never understand when you move up a stage.

here's the real danger about beer [url]http://www.poopdeck90210.com/beergoggles/commercialgoggles.htm[/url]

what about STAGE 6 - Near Death

[quote=brakada]what about

Stage 6: empty head, headache, stomachache, throwing up and feeling like shit for the next (couple of) day(s). :lol:

Damn, that's the stage I definitely hate the most... :wink:[/quote]

I think that is the stage every one hates the most but it so much fun before you reach that stage. So I guess you have to pay some how or another.

[quote=konfussion]Hey, at least you remebered where it went. It's much worse when you think it fell out of your wallet or something. For me losing $100 is a big hit. Had this happen on my last birthday and still don't know if I spent it or lost it :Rolling:[/quote] Yeah, I remembered where it went... but for those few minutes that I didn't I was flipping out. About 3 months ago I had a house party and someone stole $250 from my checkbook! I thought someone snatched my wallet at the wedding or the afterparty, but luckily it hit me before I panicked too much.

[quote=lmmadic]this girl i know kissed me in the pub the same night, couldn't remember that either :NotMe: i wish i did remember that part, she's f'ing hot. :LoveYou:[/quote]

thats the bit i hate.

it always bloody happens

Level 6 is all too common for me. I need to slow down on the drinking. I find myself doing (attempting) naked backflips at parties. Consistently landing directly on my head, but hey, I'm bulletproof by that point so it's not a problem. :Cheerz:

[quote=chato]:CrackUp: :CrackUp: :CrackUp:

I just hate level 3... you wake up next morning with no money at all in your wallet :evil:[/quote]

This one gets me everytime. I get my drinking shoes on get blasted and then wake up the next morning and ask myself "Where the fuck did that 60 bucks go"? It takes my friends to say, "Dude you drank a shit load of alcohol last night." Somehow I usually always keep my composure to NOT buy everyone else a drink. :Alchy

oh blackouts.... its amazin how friends start telling all the crap you did last night and suddenly it all starts coming back :HolyShit:

hahaha and most of the time you wish they didnt tell you.. :oops:

haha.. how funny... i just realised that i go through all stages when i drink... no exception... :Alchy :roll:

This thread has reminded me of this. So damn funny and true!

The Five Stages of Drinking (by Larry Miller)

LEVEL 1: It's 11:00 on a weeknight, you've had a few beers. You get up to leave because you have work the next day and one of your friends buys another round. One of your UNEMPLOYED friends. Here at level one you think to yourself, "Oh come on, this is silly, why as long as I get seven hours of sleep (snap fingers), I'm cool."

LEVEL 2: It's midnight. You've had a few more beers. You've just spent 20 minutes arguing against artificial turf. You get up to leave again, but at level two, a little devil appears on your shoulder. And now you're thinking, "Hey! I'm out with my friends! What am I working for anyway? These are the good times! Besides, as long as I get five hours sleep (snaps fingers) I'm cool."

LEVEL 3: One in the morning. You've abandoned beer for tequila. You've just spent 20 minutes arguing FOR artificial turf. And now you're thinking, "Our waitress is the most beautiful woman I've ever seen!" At level three, you love the world. On the way to the bathroom you buy a drink for the stranger at the end of the bar just because you like his face. You get drinking fantasies. (like,"Hey fellas, if we bought our own bar, we could live together forever. We could do it. Tommy, you could cook.") But at level three, that devil is a little bit bigger....and he's buying. And you're thinking "Oh, come on, come on now. As long as I get three hours sleep...and a complete change of blood (snaps fingers), I'm cool."

LEVEL 4: Two in the morning. And the devil is bartending. For last call, you ordered a bottle of rum and a Coke. You ARE artificial turf! This time on your way to the bathroom, you punch the stranger at the end of the bar. Just because you don't like his face! And now you're thinking, "Our busboy is the best looking man I've ever seen." You and your friends decide to leave, right after you get thrown out, and one of you knows an ...after hours bar. And here, at level four, you actually think to yourself, "Well....as long as I'm only going to get a few hours sleep anyway, I may as well....STAY UP ALL NIGHT!!!! Yeah! That'd be good for me. I don't mind going to that board meeting looking like Keith Richards. Yeah, I'll turn that around, make it work for me. And besides, as long as I get 31 hours sleep tomorrow ....cool."

LEVEL 5: Five in the morning. after unsuccessfully trying to get your money back at the tattoo parlor ("But I don't even know anybody named Ruby!!!"), you and your friends wind up across the state line in a bar with guys who have been in prison as recently as...that morning. It's the kind of place where even the devil is going, "Uh, I gotta turn in. I gotta be in Hell- at nine. I've got that brunch with Hitler, I can't miss that." At this point, you're all drinking some kind of thick blue liquor, like something from a Klingon wedding. A waitress with fresh stitches comes over, and you think to yourself, "Someday I'm gonna marry that girl!!" One of your friends stands up and screams, "WE'RE DRIVIN' TO FLORIDA!!!!!"- and passes out. You crawl outside for air , and then you hit the worst part of level five- the sun. You weren't expecting that were you? You never do. You walk out of a bar in daylight, and you see people on their way to work, or jogging. And they look at you-and they know. And they say..."Who's Ruby?" Let's be honest, if you're 19 and you stay up all night, it's like a victory like you've beat the night, but if you're over 30, then that sun is like God's flashlight. We all say the same prayer then, "I swear, I will never do this again (how long?) as long as I live!" And some of us have that little addition, "......and this time, I mean it!"

:lol: Two in the morning. And the devil is bartending. For last call, you ordered a bottle of rum and a Coke. [b][size=6]You ARE artificial turf![/size][/b]

Yeah, for a while, I was kind of level 5 ... developed this really bad habbit of tweaking people's nipples while making a "mahk mahk" kind of honking noise

:Naughty: :roll:

I'm a level 3. 'I love the world, and all the women on it.'

Haha, just got back from the pub, and am well into number five, so y'all can't see me. And you can't read this message. But how stupid will you all look in the morning.

:Gay::Gay::Gay:

i vc sazmn tyup[ew withn m,y erlbn opwsdx

i''m about level tres too, getting ready to listen to the kiss show

ime all the ab ove!

1. standing
2. leaning
3. balancing
4. sitting
5. lying down
6. lying face down with a member of the opposite sex who you dont know
7. unconcious :Barf:

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well, you should try this [url]http://www.wagenschenke.ch/[/url] :LoveYou:

[quote=thesightless]1. standing 2. leaning 3. balancing 4. sitting 5. lying down 6. lying face down with a member of the opposite sex who you dont know 7. unconcious :Barf:[/quote] hahaha thats my kind of drunk.........

woooooooooooooohoooooooooooooooo thats how i feel right now :D

[quote=thesightless]7. unconcious[/quote]

Ha, I love this one, especially when people think you might be dead, and go to check your pulse, then you blow chunks over them. :Hurl::UnderCov: